Friday, June 16, 2017

My Humble, Modest Rebuttal to Dr. Neil DeGrasse Tyson's Kickstarter Project

Dear Dr. Tyson:

This is my humble, modest rebuttal to your Kickstarter proposal. In fact, it's so humble and so modest it may make you sick of humble modesty!



To wit:

Star Trek got transporters wrong

Star Trek got transporters wrong. Shockingly, amazingly wrong! Mainly because they didn't have the budget to get it right, but that's beside the point.

In general, to paraphrase, here's my understanding of how Star Trek transporters worked.

A sophisticated computer scanned every molecule of the transportee, including clothes, weapons, accessories, even gut bacteria. So far so good.

Then for some reason that has never been clear to me, this miraculous technology converted the biomass and other matter to energy.

In other words, the Star Trek transporter killed you and the horse you rode in on. I don't care what your definition of dead is, if your physical body is converted to energy, you are dead.

Then, again for no apparent reason, the transporter technology transported the particular energy that was formerly you to some distanted point.

Then, the transporter reassembled you, your clothes, your germs (after scrubbing them, of course) into a physical body.

Then, to complete the process, again apparently for no reason, the transporter threw all this data it had just accumulated.

If you think about transporters and you think about how data is transferred on the Internet, it should really be immediately apparent that the first time you are scanned for teleportation, you can never really die.

There's no reason to destroy your physical body and convert it into energy. Energy is energy. If you can reassemble your Star Trek energy into a physical body, then there should be no reason that you can't reassemble any equivalent amount of energy into an exact duplicate (which was actually done in an episode of Star Trek: TNG). Unfortunately, anytime they did anything logical with teleporters on Star Trek, it was a one-time accident that could never be repeated because the producers just could wrap their minds around how powerful this technology truly is.

If you can make one duplicate of William T. Riker, there's no end to your William T. Riker duplicating ability!

This was also a problem with the creation of the Vision in Avengers: Age of Ultron. Honestly, Joss Whedon, if you can make 1 android with artificial intelligence, you can make a bunch just like him. Did Apple stop after making 1 iPhone because it was such a miracle?

Hollywood loves to create these artificial shortages, but technology is reaching the point that audiences just won't be able to accept it any more... But I digress.

Who knows when or if humanity will ever develop honest-to-goodness Star Trek Transporter technology.