Friday, January 08, 2016

Humor: #NormanEinstein #Kwote

“Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.” ~Joe Theismann, quarterback, Washington #NormanEinstein

"Any touchy genius can make things smaller, simpler, and more peaceful. But oy vey, try moving in the opposite direction and EVERYBODY's got OPINIONS!" #NormanEinstein

"Imagination is important, knowledge is important.   Who knows, really, which is MORE important?!" #NormanEinstein

"Gravity can make you fall down, but can it make you fall in love?  It'd take a REAL GENIUS to figure THAT ONE out!"  #NormanEinstein

"I want to know the winning lottery numbers in advance; the rest are details."  #NormanEinstein

"The hardest thing in the world to live without is oxygen.  Or water.  Or both!  No, definitely oxygen!" #NormanEinstein

"Fiction is surely an illusion, but I'm not gonna read the book.  If it's good they're sure to make a movie!" #NormanEinstein

"What are the most valuable things?  Money?  Gold? The love of a good woman or dog?" #NormanEinstein

"I'm just a person trying to live my life, to do what I gotta do.  I gotta be ME, ya know?" #NormanEinstein

"Can you imagine GOD in Vegas or Atlantic City?!  Slots!  Roulette!  Craps!  God would close down the town!" #NormanEinstein

"Sometimes I just wanna chill and not worry about all these rules or whatever, man!" #NormanEinstein

"Do you ever stop and think about the future?  What's it gonna be like?  Will I still have my hair? When's it gonna come? #NormanEinstein

You ever listen to some brainiac flapping his jaws about eternity or mystery or whatever?  What is that dude SAYING?! #NormanEinstein

They say there's no such thing as a free lunch, but I bet it's cheap! #NormanEinstein

Ya got science, ya ain't got religion, ya can't walk.  Ya got religion, ya aint got science, ya can't see! #NormanEinstein

Keep it simple, stupid, but NOT TOO SIMPLE, STUPID! Go easy on the simple! Am I right? #NormanEinstein
Ya gotta really love what you do so much that it don't matter WHAT they pay ya! #NormanEinstein
What do I gotta do to get the old creative juices flowing?  Lie? Beg? Steal? I'll do ANYTHING! #NormanEinstein

Ya got book-learnin', ya got street smarts, and sometimes all that book-learnin' stifles your street smarts!  That's all I'm sayin'! #NormanEinstein

God's got bigger problems than worryin' 'bout whether you can figure out 2 + 2 = 4.  He's got an EMPIRE to INTEGRATE! #NormanEinstein

Science ain't no high-falutin' BIG WHUP! It's just being smart about using common sense. Duh! #NormanEinstein

What I don't understand, is how I'm ABLE TO UNDERSTAND this crazy mixed-up big blue marble we call planet Earth! #NormanEinstein
Ya done sumthin' STUPID and made a BIG MESS.  MORE STUPID ain't the ANSWER! #NormanEinstein

Forget everythin' the TEACHER SAID, THE PRINCIPAL SAID, THE JANITOR TOLD Ya!  What's left? That's your education! #NormanEinstein

Who?What?When?Where?Why?How? YOU! Always with the questions! Curiosity KILLED THE CAT, ya MOOK! #NormanEinstein

Calculus is hard?  BOO-FREAKIN'-HOO! I'm trying to do cool stuff like travel in time, and YOU DON'T wanna do your homework! #NormanEinstein

A: do your job. B: play hard. C: keep your yap zipped. A+B+C = Z, which is SUCCESS! #NormanEinstein
Is the universe infinite? Dunno.  Human stupidity? No doubt! #NormanEinstein

When math is sure of itself, it's out of touch with reality!  Visa Versa? Ditto!#NormanEinstein

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but they're also the weapons of choice for WW IV! #NormanEinstein
If you're gonna be the top dog in a wolf pack, first you gotta be a WOLF! Wait, a dog?  Dogs are wolves, right?  #NormanEinstein