Saturday, February 28, 2015

Mask

2015 02 28 "Mask" #OW

Mask is a device for disguising ones facial features.

Mask looks like any number of strange and wonderful beings, from the Mummy to Frankenstein to Spider-Man to William Shatner, to whatever political figure happens to be in the news that year.

Mask sounds like your breath trying to make its way through small holes in plastic.

Mask smells like cheap plastic.

Mask feels like being partially smothered as you try to get your fill of Halloween candy.

Mask tastes like Halloween candy.

Rhymes with Mask: ASK ask BASK bask, Basque FLASK flask, hip flask, powder flask HASK hask KASK cask, casque, watercask MASK antimask, antimasque, antic-mask, antic-masque, bemask, masque, remask, unmask TASK overtask, task

I have to ask why you chose that mask
You look like a wino -- wonder where you hid your flask
You could be the Red Death at that famous masque
Clean yourself up -- you look awful -- that's your task!

Friday, February 27, 2015

Eyelash

2015 02 27 "Eyelash" #OW

An eyelash is a short, spiky hair that just out of the eyelid.

Eyelash looks like a short, spiky hair.

Eyelash sounds like the scream of pain you make when you have an ingrown eyelash.

Eyelash smells like hair.

Eyelash feels like hair.

Eyelash tastes like hair.

Rhymes with Eyelash: LASH backlash, frontlash, goulash, whiplash, calash, lash, throatlash, unlash MASH quamash, mash, mishmash, shamash NASH gnash, panache PASH apache, Apache, calipash, pash PLASH plash RASH rash SASH sash SLASH slash SMASH smash SNASH snash SPLASH splash STASH stash, ’stache TASH mustache, patache, pistache, soutache, sabretache, succotash, tash THRASH thrash TRASH trash VASH chichevache

Quick!  Blow on my eyelash!
It brings good luck!  Win some money!  Grow your stash!
Avoid a tragic car crash....
When we're done I'll throw it in the trash...

Thursday, February 26, 2015

Flash

2015 02 26 "Flash" #OW

Flash is the light that helps your camera take a picture with more light.

Flash looks like a blinding white light that comes and goes in a moment.

Flash sounds like a whirring and an explosion of light.

Flash smells like powder burning.

Flash feels like an electric thrill that disorients you.

Flash tastes like your upper lip, cause you bit it in your surprise.

Rhymes with Flash: ASH ash, mountain ash, weeping ash BASH abash, bash, earbash, calabash, squabash, Wabash BLASH blash BRASH brash DASH balderdash, bedash, interdash, pebble-dash, rondache, slapdash, spatterdash, splatterdash FASH fash FLASH photoflash, Syncroflash GASH gash HASH hache, rehash KASH encache, encash, cache, cash KLASH clash KRASH crash LASH backlash, frontlash, goulash, whiplash, eyelash, calash, lash, throatlash, unlash

You blinded me with your flash
That's the reason for the crash.
And now I have whiplash
And everything tastes like goulash!

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Biomass

2015 02 25 "Biomass" #OW

Biomass is a collection of living tissue, like the Blob.

Biomass looks like a blob of tissue squirming around.

Biomass sounds like, "gurgle, gurgle, gurgle..."

Biomass smells like raw meat.

Biomass feels like a throbbing mass of living tissue.

Biomass tastes like chicken.

Rhymes with : KLAS declass, first-class, class, middle class, outclass, reclass, second-class, third-class, underclass, upperclass, working class KRAS crass, hippocras LAS alas, lass MAS A admass, Allhallowmas, amass, D damasse, E en masse, GR groundmass, H Hallowmas, K camass, Candlemas, KR Christmas, L land mass, M Martinmas, mass, Mass, Michaelmas, R remass NAS vinasse PAS impasse, Khyber Pass, overpass, pass, repass, surpass, trespass, underpass, Eurailpass RAS arras, harass, cuirass, morass, wrasse, terrasse SAS Alsace, sass STRAS strass TAS demitasse, tarantass, tass, Tass, tasse VAS kavass, crevasse, vas YAS paillasse ZAS rosace

You're writhing like a biomass
Growing like a landmass
Big enough to block the Khyber Pass
You're such a pain in my ass!

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Ass

2015 02 24 "Ass" #OW

An Ass is a horselike animal.  Or a rude person.  Or the buttocks region.  Or the buttocks region of a rude horselike animal.

Ass looks like a horse, but smaller.

Ass sounds like, "Braaaay!"

Ass smells like butt.

Ass feels like horseflesh.

Ass tastes like ass.

Rhymes with : AS alias, Boreas, habeas, jackass, paterfamilias, pancreas, Pythias BAS anabas, bass, contrabass, octobass, rubasse BRAS brass, brasse FAS volte-face FRAS frass, sassafras GAS bagasse, degas, fougasse, gas, megass, noble gas, syngas GLAS FL flint glass, G gallowglass, GL glass, I isinglass, eyeglass, L looking glass, M magnifying glass, minute glass, O object glass, hourglass, SP spyglass, ST stained glass, W waterglass, weatherglass GRAS aftergrass, eelgrass, grass, coup de grace, crabgrass, peppergrass, sparrowgrass KAS fracas

Oh, you're such an ass!
I know when you're about to go off -- don't need an hourglass
You think you rule the roost like some self-absorbed paterfamilias
You won't be so smug when I deliver the coup de grace.

Monday, February 23, 2015

Bootlace

2015 02 23 "Bootlace" #OW

Bootlace is a length of string used to help keep boots on.

Bootlace looks like string with bits of plastic at each end.

Bootlace sounds like string slipping through aglets and then being tied into a bow.

Bootlace smells like feet.

Bootlace feels like string.

Bootlace tastes like cloth.

Rhymes with Bootlace: orthoclase, periclase sucrase enlace, interlace, catalase, Queen Anne’s lace, lace, Lovelace, populace, relace, cellulase, shoelace, unlace grimace, mace, Mace tenace apace, footpace, carapace, quarterpace, lipace, outpace, pace birthplace, displace, fireplace, hiding place, commonplace, marketplace, misplace, place, plaice, replace, resting place, showplace, trysting place B boat race, CH channel race, chariot race, D dog race, DR drag race, E erase, F foot race, H headrace, horse race, I in media res, L land race, M mile race, millrace, marathon race, O auto race, R race, res, rat race, S sack race, T tail race, TH three-legged race (etc.) Alsace aerospace, airspace, backspace, breathing space, inner space, hyperspace, interspace, outer space, space anatase, phosphatase, invertase, lactase, maltase, pectase Samothrace, Thrace retrace, trace transvase, vase

Watch and be amazed as I tie my bootlace
I do it so fast you'll think I'm in hyperspace
I try to be careful -- I don't want to break on vase
If you practice practice practice -- one day you'll match my pace!

Sunday, February 22, 2015

Ace

2015 02 22 "Ace" #OW

An ace is generally one of the 4 most valuable cards in a deck of playing cards (unless the Joker is more valuable)

Ace looks like a capital A.

Ace sounds like cards being shuffled.

Ace smells like paper covered with wax.

Ace feels like waxy paper.

Ace tastes like paper and wax.

Rhymes with Ace: ambsace, casease, nuclease, protease, ribonuclease abase, base, bass, debase, free base, wheelbase, contrabass, octobass, subbase, surbase brace, embrace, mainbrace, unbrace, underbrace, vambrace chase, enchase, steeplechase dace, dais, oxidase, peptidase, vendace  A aface, angel face, B baby face, boldface, boniface, BL blackface, D deface, E efface, F face, FR frogface, HW wheyface, I interface, K catface, O outface, P paleface, pigface, pippinface, PL platterface, R reface, typeface  begrace, disgrace, grace, scapegrace  B basket case, bookcase, BR briefcase, E endcase, encase, K cardcase, case, KR crankcase, N notecase, nut-case, S seedcase, SH showcase, SL slipcase, SM smearcase, ST staircase, T test case, typecase, U uncase, W watchcase, Y ukase

There's an old saying: "He played the King like he was expecting someone else to play the Ace,"
I don't mean to be rude or get in your face
But I'm telling you this because you tend to hesitate -- you even pause before reaching for the bookcase
But if  you can't change if you live your life like this you'll wind up a basketcase.

Saturday, February 21, 2015

Art

2015 02 21 "Art" #OW

Art is stuff like paintings and sculptures and what-have-you.

Art looks like a painting of a Campbell's soup can or those dogs playing poker.

Art sounds like, "Shh!  No talking in the art museum!"

Art smells like wet paint and plaster of Paris.

Art feels like tacky paint or marble.

Art tastes like paste.

Rhymes with : modern art, op art, pop art, stateof-the-art, video art (etc.) Bart chart, flip chart, rechart, unchart dart, indart fart, sparrowfart Bernhardt, faintheart, flintheart, greenheart, hart, heart, lionheart, stoutheart, sweetheart, unheart à la carte, cart, quarte, Descartes, dogcart, dumpcart, gocart, uncart, watercart clart jumart, mart apart, depart, dispart, forepart, impart, counterpart, mouthpart, part, rampart, repart assart, Mozart, sart outsmart, smart astart, head start, kick start, restart, redstart, upstart TÄRT apple tart, sugar tart, tart

She dresses like a tart but is that Art?
Don't just think at me -- use your mouthpart
I get that she really tried to look nice but she's no Mozart
Anyway, enough of this art talk -- let's find a hot dog cart.

Friday, February 20, 2015

Arse

2015 02 20 "Arse" #OW

Arse is the buttocks.

Arse looks like butt.

Arse sounds like "poot".

Arse smells like butt.

Arse feels like skin and muscle and fat.

Arse tastes like butt.

Rhymes with Arse: farce garce carse P parse sparse

Look at that arse!
What does it mean?  What can we parse?
She has a fine diet -- nothing sparse...
It that butt was a play, it'd have to be a farce.

Thursday, February 19, 2015

Barn

2015 02 19 "Barn" #OW

A Barn is a structure for storing horse, cattle, sheep, and sometimes chickens.

Barn looks like an enclosed structure that is not wintertight generally.

Barn sounds like horses neighing, cattle calling, sheep baaing, and chickens clucking.

Barn smells like hay and dung.

Barn feels like home (if you're a horse, cow, sheep, or chicken).

Barn tastes like horse, beef, shawarma, and chicken.

Rhymes with Barn:  imbarn darn, goldarn, goshdarn incarn, lucarne l’arn Marne consarn tarn yarn

Were you raised in a barn?!
The way you act sometimes makes me wanna say, "Darn!"
Or sometimes, "Goshdarn!"
If you were a genuine sheep at least you'd give me some yarn!

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Arm

2015 02 18 "Arm" #OW

Arm is that thing that hangs off your shoulder before your hand.

Arm looks like an "L" or a "V".  It looks like a lowercase "l" if you keep it straight.

Arm sounds like farting noises if you do it right.

Arm smells like underarm odor -- sweat.

Arm feels like skin and bone and muscle.

Arm tastes like chicken.

Rhymes with :  axle arm, D disarm, F firearm, forearm, I inarm, KR crossarm, O overarm, R rearm, S sidearm, U unarm, underarm, Y yardarm barm becharm, charm, decharm, disencharm, countercharm, love charm, uncharm gendarme aquafarm, farm, county farm, poor farm harm, unharm alarm, false alarm marm, schoolmarm smarm tharm gisarme

Don't be alarmed as I flex my arm
I mean no harm
It's just mesmerizing like a lucky charm
Keep it single file, ladies -- please don't swarm!

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Aardvark

2015 02 17 "Aardvark" #OW

An Aardvark is a small mammal that lives mainly in Africa, living on ants and termites.

Aardvark looks like an armadillo without the scaly hide.  The most famous aardvark is Cerebus.

Aardvark sounds like a squealer.

Aardvark smells like dirt and bugs.

Aardvark feels like something you wouldn't want to touch.

Aardvark tastes like chicken.

Rhymes with Aardvark:  amusement park, ball park, dispark, eparch, hipparch, impark, park, repark, toparch, unpark hierarch, Petrarch, tetrarch, xerarch exarch, sark blacktip shark, blue shark, bullhead shark, dog shark, dusky shark, hammerhead shark, white shark, landshark, leopard shark, porbeagle shark, shark, shovelhead shark spark aristarch, stark yark Ozark

"Cerebus" is an aardvark
Meant to be called "Cerberus" but his name changed on a lark.
Cerebus was a fighter -- tougher than any shark
If he had played baseball he could have ruled the ball park.

Monday, February 16, 2015

Dark

2015 02 16 "Dark" #OW

Dark is the absence of light.

Dark looks like blackness and the inability to see things.

Dark sounds like wolves howling at the moon.

Dark smells like the last dying embers of the campfire.

Dark feels like cold and loneliness.

Dark tastes like old gum whose flavor has been chewed out.

Rhymes with Dark:  arc, ark, Asiarch, diarch, ecclesiarch, heresiarch, gymnasiarch, matriarch, Noah’s ark, patriarch, symposiarch bark, barque, debark, disembark, embark, ironbark, paperbark, shagbark, shellbark, snakebark, soapbark, tanbark bedark, endark oligarch hark cark clerk quark lark, meadowlark, mudlark, sealark, skylark, titlark, woodlark  B birthmark, Bismarck, bookmark, D Denmark, E earmark, easy mark, F fingermark, Finnmark, footmark, FL floodmark, H hallmark, K countermark, L landmark, M marc, mark, marque, Monomark, O ostmark, P pockmark, postmark, PL platemark, PR pressmark, R remark, remarque, Reichsmark, S sitzmark, T telemark, tidemark, touchmark, TH thumbmark, TR trademark, W watermark

I'm not afraid of the dark
Dark can't scare me -- I'm not such an easy mark
I'm the head of the family -- it's patriarch
You can count on me like an old bookmark.

Sunday, February 15, 2015

Asgard

2015 02 15 "Asgard" #OW

Asgard is the home of the Norse Gods.

Asgard looks like what a Viking capital city on steroids would have looked like back in the day.

Asgard sounds like sword fights and medieval battle.

Asgard smells like horse dung and sweat.

Asgard feels like the Norse idea of heaven.

Asgard tastes like mead and meat cooked on a spit over an open flame.

Rhymes with :  A afterguard, avantgarde, B bodyguard, BL blackguard,D disregard, E enguard, G guard, K Kierkegaard, L laggard, lifeguard, M mudguard, N noseguard, R regard, rearguard, S safeguard, V vanguard blowhard, die-hard, hard jarred birthday card, discard, file card, Jacquard, calling card, card, placard, postal card, postcard, racecard, report card, scorecard, timecard, wedding card Abelard, foulard, interlard, lard, poulard marred, remarred, unmarred

You say you come from Asgard?
I'm trying to humor you but that's hard.
Does it say Asgard on your business card?
You keep tellin' people you're from Asgard and they won't hold you in high regard...

Saturday, February 14, 2015

Repaired

2015 02 14 "Repaired" #OW

Repaired means fixed or mended.

Rhymes with Repaired:  aired, heired, co-heired, un-heired bared, rebared, unbared chaired, rechaired, unchaired dared, redared, undared fared flared, reflared BL black-haired, blond-haired, F fair-haired, G golden-haired, GR grayhaired, K curly-haired, R raven-haired, red-haired, S silver-haired, ST straighthaired, T Titian-haired, cared, uncared declared, redeclared, undeclared laird, laired impaired, paired, prepared, unimpaired, unpaired, unprepared, unrepaired reshared, shared, unshared ensnared, snared despaired, spared, unspared stared, outstared

What once was broken has been repaired
It took guts to do it but I'm the one who dared
Folks said I couldn't do it but I came prepared
When people say, "Hey, who fixed it?" just point at me and say, "Him -- the handsome dude who's fair-haired!"

Friday, February 13, 2015

North Star

2015 02 13 "North Star" #OW

The North Star is a giant gaseous entity "of whose true fixed and resting quality there is no fellow in the firmament."

North Star looks like a little point of light that always about the same place when viewed at night in the northern hemisphere.

Rhymes with North Star:  couloir, Loire jacamar, maar, mar, Palomar, cymar, tintamarre aide memoire, armoire, memoir, moire dinar, canard, columnar, gnar, knar, narr, laminar, seminar, sonar, thenar bête noire, Renoir, rouge et noire par, parr commissar, pulsar rescar, scar, unscar feldspar, spar, unspar daystar, earthstar, evening star, falling star, instar, lonestar, lodestar, morning star, pilot star, polestar, star, sunstar, Telstar avatar, guitar, kantar, catarrh, katar, scimitar, sitar, tahr, tar registrar tsar abattoir, escritoire, repertoire bolivar, Bolivar, boulevard, cultivar, louvar, Navarre, samovar devoir, au revoir, reservoir peignoir boyar, debrouillard, groguard, sillar, Wanderjahr bazaar, bizarre, hussar, czar

What is your North Star?
Is it that little peignoir?
Playing guitar?
Cutting yourself so it leaves a scar?
Rasputin or some Russian tsar?
Caviar? Bete noire? A crime czar?
That's bizarre!

Thursday, February 12, 2015

Binocular

2015 02 12 "Binocular" #OW

Binoculars are a device for viewing the environment at a distance.

Binocular looks like  0-0 and helps you to see far-away things as if they were close up.

Rhymes with : A angular, animalcular, acetabular, annular, axillar, D dissimilar, E escolar, F fabular, funicular, FL flagellar, GL glandular, globular, I incunabular, insular, irregular, J jocular, jugular, K capsular, consular, cunabular, KR crepuscular, KW quadrangular, L lamellar, M modular, molecular, monocular, N nebular, O ocular, ovular, P particular, perpendicular, popular, R regular, S secular, similar, simular, singular, circular, somnambular, SF spherular, SK scapular, schedular, SP spatular, spectacular, ST stellular, T tabernacular, tabular, tesselar, tintinnabular, titular, tonsilar, torcular, tubular, tutelar, TR triangular, V valvular, vascular, vehicular, vermicular, vernacular, versicular, Y uvular

With two eyes I am binocular
A baseball diamond is quadrangular
H2O is molecular
My car is vehicular
And I use it to travel far!

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Jaguar

2015 02 11 "Jaguar" #OW

Jaguar is a big wild cat.  It's also a car.

Jaguar looks like the Pink Panther except it's not pink, it doesn't stand up and walk around on its hind legs (generally), and it pretty much looks completely different.  Also, the car looks like a sports car.

Jaguar sounds like, "Roar!  Gimme some antelope!"

Jaguar smells like cat fur, especially when it's wet.

Jaguar feels like sharp claws disembowelling you right before you die.  Ouch!

Jaguar tastes like chicken.

Rhymes with : APR, antiar, aar, are, DAR, DNR, LTR, foliar, gangliar, caviar  A axlebar, B bar, busbar, D debar, disbar, durbar, DR drawbar, E embar, H handlebar, I isallobar, isobar, KR crossbar, crowbar, M Malabar, millibar, R rollbar, S saddlebar, centibar, cinnabar, SH shacklebar, T towbar, U unbar, upbar, W Wunderbar, Z Zanzibar pourboire  char dar, deodar, havildar, haznadar, hospodar, jemadar, calendar, objet d’art, radar, sirdar, subahdar, tahsildar, zamindar boudoir afar, far, insofar, so far, shophar budgerigar, gar, segar, cigar, Trafalgar, vinegar  ajar, jar, nightjar  B boxcar, CH chukar, J jaunting car, gyrocar, K car, L Lascar M, motorcar, O autocar, R railway car, S sidecar, sircar, SH shikar, STR streetcar, T turbocar, TR trocar, trolley car

If I were a jaguar
I'd never get to ride a trolley car
I'd be looking like the number 66 on radar
I couldn't ride a bike or deal with its handlebar.

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Stair

2015 02 10 "Stair" #OW

Stair is a means of ascending from one level to another. |_

Stair looks like |_

Stair sounds like your feeting clomping if you're wearing heavy boots or your socks sliding.

Stair smells like the bottom of people's feet or the soles of their shoes.

Stair feels like the warmth of the carpet or the cold of the wood against your bare feet on a cold morning.

Stair tastes like wood and dirt.

Rhymes with Stair:  despair, spare backstair, front stair, cocklestair, outstare, spiral stair, stare, upstare forswear, outswear, sware, swear, unswear parterre, pied-à-terre, proletaire, solitaire, tare, tear, up-tear, Voltaire their, there  revers, vair, vare  A aware, B beware, D Delaware, E earthenware, F firmware, footwear, GL glassware, H hardware, hornware, L liveware, M menswear, N neckwear, nightwear, O outwear, overwear, R rainwear, redware, S silverware, software, SP sportswear, ST stemware, stoneware, T tableware, tinware, TR treenware, U unaware, underwear, W ware, wear  Gruyère, tuyère, mamelière, meunière, yair, yare misère étagère, fourragère

As I climb the stair
I try to beware
Or be aware
And not to fall into despair
When I'm done with the stair I like to sit in my chair.

Monday, February 09, 2015

Air

2015 02 09 "Air" #OW

Air is the stuff around us that we breathe on Earth.

Air looks like leaves blowing on the wind.

Air sounds like, "whoosh!"

Air smells like whatever is most prevalent in the environment, whether cows in the country or smog in the city.

Air feels like the wind blowing on your face.  It can cool you off on a hot day or freeze your fingers in the cold.

Air tastes like the bugs that fly into your mouth on a windy day if you're not careful

Rhymes with : Aire, Ayr, Eir, e’er, ere, eyre, heir, H howe’er, HW whate’er, whatsoe’er, whene’er, whensoe’er, where’er, wheresoe’er, J jardiniere, K co-heir, M mid-air, P portiere, PL plein-air, PR premiere, V vivandiere  B bare, bear, bugbear, F forbear, forebear, K Camembert, cudbear, M misbear O overbear, THR threadbare, U underbear, upbear blare  armchair, chair, chare, highchair, wheelchair, pushchair, rocking chair, sedan chair,  bedare, dare, Kildare, outdare  A affair, CH chargé d’affaires, F fanfare, fair, fare, fieldfare, funfare, K county fair, L laissez-faire, M Mayfair, misfare, S savoir faire, ST state fair, TH thoroughfare, U unfair, V Vanity Fair, W warfare, welfare  flair, flare

Do you think it's fair to belittle the air?
If you, I'll take you on whene'er and whate'er
From my rocking chair I live with savoir faire
But when you diss my air you invite warfare
I'll fight with flare regardless of the fanfare!

Sunday, February 08, 2015

Lagniappe

2015 02 08 "Lagniappe" #OW

Lagniappe is a little something extra that a business owner gives his customers.

Lagniappe looks like a book of matches or a pen with a company logo or a signed copy of a mini-poster for a novel by your favorite author or the toy surprise in your box of Cracker Jacks.

Lagniappe sounds like, "Lanny Yap."

Lagniappe smells like paper or plastic.

Lagniappe feels like a little bit of extra love from someone genuinely grateful for your custom or an empty gesture from a hollow corporation.

Lagniappe tastes like paper or plastic.

Rhymes with Lagniappe: SLAP backslap, reslap, slap SNAP resnap, snap, unsnap STRAP bestrap, blackstrap, checkstrap, jockstrap, restrap, shoulder strap, strap, unstrap, watchstrap TAP heel tap, retap, tap, water tap TRAP D deathtrap, E entrap, F firetrap, FL fleatrap, flytrap, KL claptrap, M mantrap, mousetrap, R rat trap, rattletrap, S SUN TRAP, TR trap, untrap WAP WAP yap, yapp ZAP zap

Not familiar with lagniappe?
It's nothing fancy -- just a trinket or a piece of crap
But if it's a signed poster from your favorite author it'll give you a zap
Don't bother complaining that your "toy surprise" is just a piece of paper -- shut your trap!

Saturday, February 07, 2015

Giftwrap

2015 02 07 "Giftwrap" #OW

Giftwrap is usually decorative paper used to cover a present.

Giftwrap looks like a long roll of very thin, fragile paper, about 2 1/2 wide, with various decorative designs.

Giftwrap sounds like a long piece of tape being unspooled from a tape dispenser, scissors cutting paper, paper being folded over the box, and the "ooohs" and "aaahs" of the gift recipients.

Giftwrap smells like paper.

Giftwrap feels like flimsy paper that tears as you unwrap the package.  Sometimes you try to remove the paper carefully to wrap another gift.  Sometimes you rip the paper with glee.

Giftwrap tastes like newspaper.

Rhymes with : BAP bap CHAP chap, old chap, young chap DAP dap DRAP drap FLAP earflap, flap, flipflap FRAP frap, unfrap GAP agape, gap, gape, stopgap HAP hap, mayhap, mishap JAP Jap KAP ASCAP, BL blackcap, bluecap, F foolscap, forage cap, H handicap, hubcap, HW whitecap, I icecap, K cap, M madcap, mobcap, N kneecap, nightcap, P percussion cap, R redcap, recap, SK skullcap, SN snowcap, T toecap, U uncap, W wishing cap KLAP afterclap, beclap, clap, thunderclap KRAP crap LAP burlap, dewlap, halflap, catlap, lap, Lapp, overlap, semordnilap, unlap MAP photomap, map NAP genapp, genappe, horsenap, catnap, kidnap, knap, nap, nappe, surnap PAP pap, genipap RAP enwrap, rap, wrap, unwrap SAP homo sap, sap, winesap SKRAP scrap

I'll gladly purchase  giftwrap
But I won't pay to have my gift wrapped
That's too cold, too impersonal for me -- I'm a good chap
If you ever see me pay to have my gift wrapped, check the heavens for a thunderclap
Or better yet, don't bother 'cause I'm NEVER doing that crap!

Friday, February 06, 2015

All The Way Down

"All The Way Down" #JSLAY

I've been living large, I've been gloating
Been flying planes, been deep-sea boating
I've been climbing mountains, I've been billygoating
I've been monologuing, I've been emoting

I'm the kind that likes to bend your ear
I'll wink at you and crook my finger to draw you near.
I've made lots of songs but they've never charted
Sometimes I feel like giving up when I'm heavy hearted

I've always picked myself when I've gone all the way down
Sometimes it feels like I'm just in the wrong town
I don't drink whiskey and I don't like wine
Just need a kind word from you to make me feel fine.

When I'm down it's so enervating
Don't see the sun when I'm surrounded by gloom
Don't mean to bore so pardon my prating
Things aren't really that bad -- it's not all doom.

I've always picked myself when I've gone all the way down
Sometimes it feels like I'm just in the wrong town
I don't drink whiskey and I don't like wine
Just need a kind word from you to make me feel fine.

Life goes on it sure does seem to sprawl
And when it goes up, it's prelude to a fall.
Life goes on it sure does seem to sprawl
And when it goes up, it's prelude to a fall.

But what don't kill you, it makes you strong
Ooh, but that just seems wrong.

I've always picked myself when I've gone all the way down
Sometimes it feels like I'm just in the wrong town
I don't drink whiskey and I don't like wine
Just need a kind word from you to make me feel fine.
But when you're with me though I go all the way down
'Cause you remind that the sun'll come up after sundown.

You're Someone Who Likes to Frown

"You're Someone Who Likes to Frown" #JSLAY

Sometimes being with you is such a chore
Like that raven quoting, "Nevermore"
You're never up, you're always down
Sometimes I wonder why I keep you around
You're someone who likes to frown

You're so pretty -- you look so fine
Once I wanted you to be my Valentine
But lately all you do is whine
You're such a buzz kill that you bring me down
You're someone who likes to frown

Yes, it's getting old
So let me tell you, let me be so bold
When you're happy you're more fun to hold
This is what you should do
Think back on whatever most pleases you
There's so much more to life than feeling blue

You can be happy, oh, I'm so sure
Despite the trials and tribulations you'll endure
Life goes so fast it seems a blur
It just makes me wonder how
You're someone who likes to frown

Some say when you hear the call
It inspires you, helps you give your all
And when you do your best then you can stand tall
And if that's true
Things will surely go well for you
So please make your frown go away
And show me your pretty smile today

Things will be brighter if you do as I say
Don't question why, girl, just obey
You can get up, don't have to be down
You leave your dreary wasteland and join us in Happy Town
You don't have to be the girl who likes to frown

Grape

2015 02 06 "Grape" #OW

Grapes grow on vines and come in a variety of colors, including purple and green.  Grapes may be made into wine or into raisins.

Grape looks like a little ball.

Grape sounds like grapes squishing between your toes as you make wine.

Grape smells like a fruity little ball of flavor.

Grape feels like little slimy balls that are fragile and release their juices if you squeeze them.

Grape tastes like wine or Grape Ne-hi

Rhymes with : ape, naked ape chape bedrape, drape, undrape agape, gape graip, grape jape escape, fire escape, cape, uncape crape, crepe nape pape  boomrape, rape  misshape, reshape, shape, shipshape, transshape, unshape S escape, inscape, cloudscape, landscape, seascape, scape, skyscape, townscape, waterscape rescrape, scrape S swape  nametape, audiotape, red-tape, tape, untape, videotape trape

Thanks for offering me a grape
Grapes are healthy and make me feel shipshape
When I eat them I feel like a naked ape
Oh, I'm addicted to grapes -- I can't escape!

Thursday, February 05, 2015

Hellfire (Interlude)

"Hellfire (Interlude)" #JSLAY

It was good you were my lover
But now our stars don't align
You left me for another
I feel empty -- I feel dead
Nowhere to rest my weary head
Don't want anyone else but you
And now I don't know what to do
How I'm gonna live without you's a mystery

You were mine, mine, mine
So glad to call you my Valentine
You looked so fine but you're colubrine
Whatever you were selling I was your buyer
Oh, oh, oh
Goes to show that you never know
Now that you're gone
It's like hellfire

Hellfire
Hellfire
Hellfire

You'll Remain Bound (Lost the Key)

"You'll Remain Bound (Lost the Key)" #JSLAY

It may be part of your genome
Written into you like a musty old tome
It's just you part of who you are
But when you're shackled and cuffed you don't go far

I'm a man who lost the key
You're the one chained up to a tree
I try not to laugh but it's funny
Maybe you shouldn't've trusted me

And you'll remain bound
You'll remain bound
Until somebody with a key comes around
And you've been found

Now I can guess what you wanna say
But you're chained up and here you'll stay
Just learn to like it till you think it's swell
'Cause if you can't adjust it'll seem like Hell

I'm a man who lost the key
You're the one chained up to a tree
I try not to laugh but it's funny
Maybe you shouldn't've trusted me

And you'll remain bound
You'll remain bound
Until somebody with a key comes around
And you've been found

I'm a man who lost the key
You're the one chained up to a tree
I try not to laugh but it's funny
Maybe you shouldn't've trusted me

Oh, look, it's gonna rain
Sorry I'm such a scatterbrain
But I'm glad that you played my game
I'm sorry you feel that way -- I'll take the blame

But you'll remain bound
You'll remain bound
Until somebody with a key comes around
And you've been found

So smile and accept your fate
I'll keep you company till it gets late
Maybe somebody with a key'll come around
And you'll be found

Consonant

2015 02 05 "Consonant" #OW

Consonant is a letter with a hard sound, like b or c.

Consonant looks like a letter.

Consonant sounds like "kkkk"  or "pppp."

Consonant smells like spittle.

Consonant feels like a massage.

Consonant tastes like chicken.

Rhymes with : A ambulant, articulant, FL flagellant, G gallant, GR gratulant, I impetulant, J jubilant, K capitulant, coagulant, congratulant, cumulant, L lant M matriculant, N nonchalant, O osculant, P periculant, petulant, postulant, R revelant, S sibilant, scintillant, circulant, circumvolant, ST stimulant, STR stridulant, T tintinnabulant, TR tremolant, U ululant, undulant, V vigilant MANT adamant, informant NANT A agglutinant, appurtenant, assonant, D determinant, discriminant, dissonant, dominant, F fulminant, H horrisonant, I illuminant, imaginant, inconsonant, J germinant, K conglutinant, culminant, covenant, L luminant, O ordinant, PR predominant, R revenant, resonant, ruminant PANT anticipant, pant, Sacripant PLANT deplant, eggplant, implant, pieplant, plant, replant, supplant, transplant

What's your favorite consonant?
Does B make you feel gallant?
Or is it C?  Are you adamant?
Tell me the truth -- I'll give you an eggplant.

Wednesday, February 04, 2015

Chew Your Glove

"Chew Your Glove" #JSLAY

Your glove, chew your glove
Chew your glove
Your glove, chew your glove
Chew your glove

My gal, she ain't herself when she starts coming
And sometimes she don't know what to do
Comes in through the out door
Thinks we're in Chicago when it's Baltimore
'Cause I've seen her lose her mind whenever we screw

Your glove, chew your glove
Chew your glove
Your glove, chew your glove
Chew your glove
Your glove, chew your glove
Chew your glove

She loves to moan, she's big on screaming
She loses herself, thinks she's dreaming
Your glove, chew your glove
Chew your glove

My girl, she'll wake the dead when she starts coming
I try to keep her quiet, but I'm not too bold
Say, "Girl, you're my Valentine
But I can't take your monkeyshines
'Cause you're disturbing the neighbors you got to know"

So your glove, chew your glove
Chew your glove
Your glove, chew your glove
Chew your glove
Your glove, chew your glove
Chew your glove

She loves to moan, she's big on screaming
She loses herself, thinks she's dreaming
Your glove, chew your glove
Chew your glove

So your glove, chew your glove
Chew your glove
Your glove, chew your glove
Chew your glove
Your glove, chew your glove
Chew your glove

She loves to moan, she's big on screaming
She loses herself, thinks she's dreaming
Your glove, chew your glove
Chew your glove

Your glove, chew your glove
Chew your glove
Your glove, chew your glove
Chew your glove
You're the one I love

Falling With Ease

"Falling With Ease" #JSLAY

Falling with ease
I try to do as I'm told
Falling with ease
I try to do as I'm told
I'm a like a sap -- some big cheese
Man, it's getting old

It don't give me no pleasure
Ain't no good to me
It don't give me no pleasure
Ain't no good to me
I'm not really pleasin' nobody
Nobody's been pleasurin' me

I got that red light girl
There's nothin' to be done
I got that red light girl
There's nothin' to be done
I thought we could make it happen
I thought you were the one
You don't care

Grant

2015 02 04 "Grant" #OW

Grant is a gift of money for some purpose, usually academic, such as toward tuition or for research.  Grant has other meanings as well.

Grant looks like a big fat check.

Grant sounds like ka-ching!

Grant smells like money

Grant feels like success

Grant tastes like the fancy steak dinner I'll be eating if I get that grant!

Rhymes with : A ant, aunt, attenuant, D depreciant, FL fluctuant, G grand-aunt, great-aunt (etc.), I insouciant, irradiant, issuant, K continuant, L luxuriant, M menstruant, miscreant, O officiant, otiant, P permeant, PR procreant, R recreant, renunciant, resiant, V variant BANT bant, Corybant BRANT brant, celebrant, Rembrandt CHANT chant, disenchant, enchant DANT commandant, confidant, confidante, consolidant FANT elephant, hierophant, oliphant, sycophant, triumphant GANT A arrogant, E elegant, extravagant, I inelegant, irrigant, K congregant, L litigant, M mitigant, O obligant, S suffragant, T termagant GRANT block grant, emigrant, immigrant, integrant

I might like you better if you gave me a grant
If you don't have the funds you could ask your aunt
If she's too poor, hell, try your great aunt
If you don't come through I'll never forget, like some grantless elephant

Tuesday, February 03, 2015

Sapor Alcohol

"Sapor Alcohol" #JSLAY

Baby girl, let's get our drink on
The sapor of alcohol helps to get your think on
Try this drink -- it's something new
Let the flavor of booze do something to you

Here's a drink that tastes great in Winter
If you like minty, well, it's a little minter
Now try this one that's made for Summer
I gave you a drink now give me a hummer

There's like 22 proof in this one
You'll have to drink a gallon if you want to have fun
You seem like a good girl but will you fall
For the sapor of alcohol?

Try this tea, it's from Long Island
You don't have to drink much to take you to highland
Have a little more, baby, it won't hurt
And you won't resist when I take off your shirt

There's like 22 proof in this one
You'll have to drink a gallon if you want to have fun
You seem like a good girl but will you fall
For the sapor of alcohol?

Purse your lips and drink some things
I'll be the puppet master and pull your strings
Pour enough to make you high
Have my way with you and then say goodbye

There's like 22 proof in this one
You'll have to drink a gallon if you want to have fun
You seem like a good girl but will you fall?

Abbreviating the FDA

"Abbreviating the FDA" #JSLAY

Abbreviating the FDA
May seem a little overblown
Who sent that edict down from their throne?
Why do things this way?
Franklin Delano Roosevelt had an idea one day
And since then the New Deal has been part of our DNA.
We've got an alphabet soup now: IRS, FBI, CIA
Don't bother trying to change it 'cause that's the way it's gonna stay.

Abbreviating the FDA
It's how the USA stays number one.
Talk to the ATF about your gun
You may grumble you may rage
But abbreviatin's how we set the stage
But when the world's done all that it did
Maybe you'll have your chance to change things, heaven forbid

When you're with me you'll say,
"I'm with you, with you, with you, baby."
Don't bother fussin', there's no need to fight
Just abbreviate with me 'cause you know that I'm right.

Abbreviating the FDA,
Abbreviating the FDA?
When those letters are all you've known
There as much a part of you as your own shinbone
And we'll go dancing
And as I set to romancing
You'll say baby, tell me about the FDA?
What do those letters mean -- what do they say?
And I'll say, "Baby, I'd tell you but the memory fades."

I’m abbreviating the FDA.
Abbreviating the FDA.

Exuberance

2015 02 03 "Exuberance" #OW

Exuberance is being filled with excitement

Exuberance looks like a winning contestant on The Price Is Right.

Exuberance sounds like, "Oh, maaaan!  All right!"

Exuberance smells like adrenaline mixed with fear mixed with excitement.

Exuberance feels like a winning hand in poker when the pot is large and you know your last opponent is gonna fold.

Exuberance tastes like a banana split you got for free.

Rhymes with : PANS expanse PRANS prance RANS A aberrance, D deliverance, F furtherance, I ignorance, intemperance, intolerance, PR preponderance, protuberance, R rance, S severance, sufferance, T temperance, tolerance, U utterance, V vociferance SANS impuissance, complaisance, conversance, puissance, reconnaisance SKANS askance STANS happenstance, inconstance, circumstance, stance TANS A acceptance, D disinheritance, E exorbitance, expectance, H heritance, I inductance, inhabitance, inhabitants, inheritance, K concomitance, conductance, O oscitance, PR precipitance, R reluctance, remonstrance, repentance TRANS entrance, penetrance, recalcitrance, remonstrance, trance, outrance VANS advance, irrelevance, relevance ZANS defeasance, complaisance, malfeasance, obeisance, recognizance

Pardon my exuberance
Didn't know I'd be feeling this in advance
Did know I'd win so big when I took that chance
But now you know how glad I am that you accepted when I asked you to dance
That's my stance now that we're gonna dance -- I can't contain myself -- now watch me prance!

Monday, February 02, 2015

Adultery

"Adultery" #JSLAY

Adultery
When me and you became her and me
Adultery
Was life better before this came to be?

Sneaking around like this but I don't feel free

Tremble-y!
If I get caught you're gonna cause a scene
Tremble-y!
If I get caught you're gonna cause a scene

Oh life was so much simpler when I was boy and you a colleen

From time to time I wonder if you could both be mine
From time to time I wonder if you could both be mine

If I broached the subject would you accept or decline?

[Solo]

Adultery
When I lie to you do you still believe me?
Adultery
When I lie to you do you still believe me?

Well, I got my fantasy, but what's it doing to our family?
Can I keep the secret or will it be the end of our family?
Yeah, I got that secret, and I can't let it get away from me

Oh ah oh [repeated]

Hellfire

"Hellfire" #JSLAY

Feel the rage building up inside me
Hurts to tamp it down -- gonna let it free
Maybe it's wrong, maybe it's right
I'm not gonna hold it inside -- gotta let it out
Release that primal scream -- let out a shout!

You were mine, mine, mine
So glad to call you my Valentine
You looked so fine but you're colubrine
Whatever you were selling I was your buyer
Oh, oh, oh
Goes to show that you never know
Now that you're gone
It's like hellfire

It was good you were my lover
But now our stars don't align
You left me for another
I feel empty -- I feel dead
Nowhere to rest my weary head
Don't want anyone else but you
And now I don't know what to do
How I'm gonna live without you's a mystery

You were mine, mine, mine
So glad to call you my Valentine
You looked so fine but you're colubrine
Whatever you were selling I was your buyer
Oh, oh, oh
Goes to show that you never know
Now that you're gone
It's like hellfire

I got a fire from the agony in my heart
Painful fire's ripping me apart

Oh, oh, oh
Goes to show that you never know
Now that you're gone
It's like hellfire

Angel-faced

2015 03 02 "Angel-faced" #OW

Angel-faced refers to someone with beautiful facial features.

Angel-faced looks like an angel.

Angel-faced sounds like harps playing and choirs singing.

Angel-faced smells like marshmallows and fairy dust.

Angel-faced feels like heaven.

Angel-faced tastes like chicken.

Rhymes with Angel-faced:  aced abased, based, baste, debased, lambaste, self-abased  braced, embraced, unbraced, unembraced  chased, chaste, unchased, unchaste  apple-faced, B babyfaced, baldfaced, barefaced, bold-faced, BR brazen-faced, D defaced, dirty-faced, dish-faced, doughfaced, double-faced, E effaced, F faced, furrow-faced

Oh, look at you -- so pretty -- angel-faced
You're as cruel as you wanna be -- all your sins erased
You're a wanton libertine -- but people think you're chaste
And the lies you tell -- baldfaced!

Dance

2015 02 02 "Dance" #OW

Dance is graceful movement, often to music

Dance looks like a ballerina leaping and twirling, or newlyweds celebrating their nuptials.

Dance sounds like the hottest hits of the day.  It can be fast or slow.

Dance smells like sweat and perfume, and powder on the ballerina's shoes.

Dance feels like heat and excitement.

Dance tastes like sweat.

Rhymes with : ANS A anse, appliance, D discontinuance, I insouciance, irradiance, issuance, K continuance, KL clairvoyance, L luxuriance, P permeance, perpetuance, pursuance, R radiance, S seance, suppliance, V variance BANS disturbance BRANS encumbrance, remembrance CHANS bechance, chance, mischance, perchance DANS ascendance, avoidance, barn dance, break dance, dance, death dance, folk dance, impedance, country dance, courting dance, mating dance, misguidance, square dance, tap dance, witch dance FRANS France GANS arrogance, elegance, extravagance, inelegance GLANS glance, side glance HANS enhance, hance, hanse JANS allegiance KANS askance, insignificance, significance LANS ambulance, demilance, fer-de-lance, jubilance, lance, nonchalance, petulance, sibilance, simulance, vigilance MANS manse, romance

Would you like to dance?
Barn dance, Break dance, Folk dance?
Country dance, courting dance, mating dance?
Oh, let's dance!  It's our best chance for romance!

Sunday, February 01, 2015

Ankh

2015 02 01 "Ankh" #OW

Ankh is an Eqyptian symbol of life.

Ankh looks like like a cross topped by the eye of a needle.

Ankh sounds like trank, rank, or Frank, with a silent, "H."

Ankh smells like puppies and kittens.

Ankh feels like farm animals frolicking in the spring..

Ankh tastes like chicken or a potent energy drink.

Rhymes with : BANGK banc, bank, data bank, embank, claybank, mountebank, nonbank, river bank, sandbank, savings bank BLANGK blank, Mont Blanc, pointblank BRANGK brank CHANGK chank DANGK dank DRANGK drank, outdrank FLANGK flank, outflank FRANGK franc, frank, Frank HANGK hank KLANGK clank, reclank KRANGK crank, recrank LANGK lank PANGK hanky-pank PLANGK gangplank, plank PRANGK prank RANGK disrank, enrank, outrank, rank SANGK sank SHANGK foreshank, greenshank, redshank, shank, sheepshank, scrimshank SHRANGK reshrank, shrank SKANGK skank SLANGK slank SPANGK spank STANGK outstank, stank

I've been thinking about Death's ankh
Would you see it if you walked the plank?
Would it appear before your eyes if you were shot pointblank?
Or right before you washed up on the riverbank?
Because the ankh is a symbol of life is wearing it Death's little prank?