Saturday, January 31, 2015

Cool To Shove You

"Cool To Shove You" #JSLAY

Oh, it's cool to shove you
It's cool to shove you
It's cool to shove you
Yeah, I'm not too cool for you

I'm the one to do it 'cause I'm the best
But if someone else wants to do it they can be my guest
And when they've all done it I'll shove you better than the rest
It's cause I can't resist you boo

Oh, it's cool to shove you
It's cool to shove you
It's cool to shove you
Yeah, I'm not too cool for you

Cool as ice, that's how I strive to be
Warm me up and I'll take a shine to you
I do what I want cause I live free
I'll do what's cool cause it's the thing to do

Oh, it's cool to shove you
It's cool
It's cool
Yeah, I'm not too cool for you
Yeah, I'm not too cool for you
I'm not too cool for you
I'm not too cool for you
I'm not too cool for you
I'm not too cool for you
I'm not too cool for you

Morn Is Praised (Reprise)

"Morn Is Praised (Reprise)" #JSLAY

Now I'm just here to praise the rays
That come with the start of each day
I like the sun's rays on my face
I'm glad the dawn of this morning is here

I don't seek the high life, fortune or fame
I try to do right, do the things I should do
I don't treat life like some silly little game
Please join me in praising morn, why don't you?

Now as I get dressed, as I put on my graith
I think about long-lost friends and about lost lovers
I wonder if I were the sun's rays, would I be a wraith?
Could I change direction or would I just hover?

[CHORUS]
Now I don't care where you were born or raised
Just think about that blackbird and you'll agree
When I say this morn should be praised
So don't put up a fight just sing along with me
Morn is praised
Morn is praised
Morn is praised

Abase You All Mome

"Abase You All Mome" #JSLAY

There's a photoelectric effect
To preserve an image before it's been wrecked
I do believe you can't end until you begin
I'm an artist I make art
I show you my mind I show you my heart
Once you see my stuff you'll know you can win

Bit by bit, piece by piece
I built myself up to be more than a codpiece
I've got heft I've got heart
When you see what I've done you think it's art
You'll be playing along like I've said from the start
Abase You All Mome
Abase You All Mome
Don't make me Abase You All Mome

I'm so awesome I'm so great
I'm set on my path and won't deviate
You've never known a man to live so large
Look at me and you see
I'm the one to embrace possibility
I got it going on -- yeah, I'm the one in charge

Bit by bit, piece by piece
I built myself up to be more than a codpiece
I've got heft I've got heart
When you see what I've done you think it's art
You'll be playing along like I've said from the start

Abase You All Mome
Abase You All Mome
Don't make me Abase You All Mome

Abase You All Mome
Abase You All Mome
Don't make me Abase You All Mome

Someday I'll call you honey-chile,
Someday I'll call you honey-chile,
Someday I'll call you honey-chile,
I'll make you smile like a crocodile

(Someday I'll call you honey-chile)
Bit by bit, piece by piece
(Someday I'll call you honey-chile)
I built myself up to be more than a codpiece
(Someday I'll call you honey-chile)
I've got heft I've got heart
(I'll make you smile like a crocodile)
When you see what I've done you think it's art
You'll be playing along like I've said from the start

Abase You All Mome
Abase You All Mome
Don't make me Abase You All Mome

Abase You All Mome
Abase You All Mome
Don't make me Abase You All Mome

Mustang

2015 01 31 "Mustang" #OW

Mustang is a type of horse.  It's also a type of car.

Mustang looks like a giant pony.

Mustang sounds like, "Neigh!"

Mustang smells like horse poop and hay.

Mustang feels like sore legs and walking bowlegged for a week.

Mustang tastes like chicken

Rhymes with : SPANG spang SPRANG resprang, sprang STANG stang SWANG swang TANG orangutang, sea tang, tang TWANG twang VANG vang WANG burrawang YANG Pyongyang, yang

Have you ever ridden a Mustang?
Is that horse the yin to your yang?
Does it make you sing higher, with a twang?
Would you rather have a pony or an orangutang?

Friday, January 30, 2015

Risky, Risky, Risky

"Risky, Risky, Risky" #JSLAY

We left off in LA
With all the things I meant to say
When I pick myself up off the hard cement
Wondering, what fresh mess will I find myself in today?

Just when things are going fine
Now I'm not one to moan and whine
Just seems sometimes that my stars never align
I guess I'm complaining

Risky, Risky, Risky
Hotter, hotter, hotter
Creep
Risky, Risky, Risky
Get up, stand up
Get off that scrapheap

It seems like days
Never say never
It's just been a few days
But it seems like thing's are never gonna change

In the mornings when I start to feel fine
When I'm feeling some amazing grace
I just want to have something that's mine
To have a reason to get up and show my face

Strutting around listening to no one like I'm deaf
Picking up my belongs like they've got some heft
When I leave this place they'll all be bereft
Good, now you're thinking

Risky, Risky, Risky
Hotter, hotter, hotter
Creep
Risky, Risky, Risky
Get up, stand up
Get off that scrapheap

It seems like days
Never say never
It's just been a few days
But it seems like thing's are never gonna change

Risky, Risky, Risky
Hotter, hotter, hotter
Creep
Slept like it was the best I could be
Get up, stand up
And scrap it, scrap it, scrap that heap for me

Risky, Risky, Risky
Hotter, hotter, hotter
Creep
Risky, Risky, Risky
If I take my chances, that's when we'll meet

Risky, Risky, Risky
Hotter, hotter, hotter
Creep

Joy Ride

"Joy Ride" #JSLAY

You stare at the button marked "Insane Mode"
You just have to press to go down that same road
0 to 60
In 3.1 seconds tearing up the pavement
There won't a plaque -- no engravement
But this means freedom from your enslavement

'Cause when this world is done with you
They won't talk about your dreams -- what did you DO?

You can tell your spouse and your kids that it was your choice
You had to be yourself cause you could no longer hide
You had to feel for yourself the incredible G-Force
You took a Tesla, insane mode, one-push fantastic joy ride

You imagine you're outracing a tornado
You just pressed that button so you could really go
You feel so much power in the palm of your hand
0 to 60 in 3.1 seconds -- oh, Lord, that's so grand
How long to make it home?

'Cause when this world is done with you
They won't talk about your dreams -- what did you DO?

There's a song in your heart -- an emotional riot
The joy rising up in you like high tide
Like a high from crystal meth when you're catching your breath
You took a Tesla, insane mode, one-push fantastic joy ride

Someday, maybe tomorrow or years from now
You'll light up with remembrance when you tell how
You'll time travel from where you will be to where you were then
Stand up taller and tell folks you can't wait to do it again

'Cause when this world is done with you
They won't talk about your dreams -- what did you DO?

Now no one has to wonder what you're thinking
From now until the day that you've died
You know you have no limits -- you do what you can
You took a Tesla, insane mode, one-push fantastic joy ride

Bang

2015 01 30 "Bang" #OW

Bang is a loud sound, made by a gun, or some other clashy thing.

Bang looks like the word "bang" in a colorful font over a garish word bubble on an episode of "Batman" starring Adam West and Burt Ward.

Bang sounds like "Bang!"

Bang smells like gunpowder.

Bang feels like a sudden chill down your spine that makes you jump.

Bang tastes like a bloody nose.

Rhymes with Bang: bhang, Big Bang, gang bang, gobang, interrobang, probang, shebang DANG dang, yardang FANG defang, fang, unfang GANG gang, gangue, holmgang, outgang, oxgang, sirgang HANG hang, overhang, uphang HWANG whang KANG cangue KLANG clang, reclang KYANG kiang LANG lang MANG mang, siamang NANG Penang PANG pang, trepang PRANG prang RANG boomerang, harangue, meringue, rang, serang SANG pisang, resang, sang SLANG boomslang, slang

A boomerang don't clang or go bang
Don't get me started on this latest harangue
You wanna calm me down, then serve me a nice meringue
Put me in your gang bang -- I ain't speaking in slang!

Thursday, January 29, 2015

Love Is A Noun

"Love Is A Noun" #JSLAY

Love is a noun
It ain't a verb
It can make you happy it can make you frown
But when you're in it you know it's superb

When you show me your love
It ain't with your verbs
Yeah love is something
Love is a noun
Love is something
Love is a noun

Love ain't a catch
So don't be obtuse
Now you don't want to get through love
It gets damaged with misuse

Love ain't a verb
Despite what you've heard
No, love ain't what you sing
Love is a noun
No, love ain't what you sing
Love is a noun

Now let me tell, tell, tell you
Tell, tell, tell you
Tell, tell, tell you
That love is a noun

Yeah let me tell, tell, tell you
Tell, tell, tell you
Tell, tell, tell you
That love is a noun

Love ain't what I sing
Love is a noun

If You Never Have To Rebound Forgiving

"If You Never Have To Rebound Forgiving" #JSLAY

If you ever have to rebound forgiving,
Then you'll have something to say
Tell your friends and neighbors
About that day
Day

If you ever have to rebound forgiving
If you remember the screams
Or the grace of being forgiven
Set someone's soul free
Free

If you ever have to rebound forgiving
Treat yourself in some special way
Celebrate the glory
Free yourself from yesterday
Yesterday

Easy, easy

Maybe you've never had a real problem at nineteen
You don't have scars
Just worry about getting home on time
Dream about driving fast cars

When you gonna wake up, girl?
When you gonna wake up, girl?
When you gonna wake up, girl?
When you gonna wake up, girl?
You've been biding your time
Making up your mind
Trying to make your situation better
Reading the tea leaves, reading that letter
You're an up and comer, a real go-getter
I think you better wake up, girl
I think you better wake up, girl
I think you better wake up, girl
I think you better wake up, girl
I think you better wake up, girl

Heartland

2015 01 29 "Heartland" #OW

The heartland is the part of the country where all the salt of the earth folks live.

Heartland looks like cornfields and other fields of grains and such.

Heartland sounds like threshers threshing, plows plowing, and grass growing.

Heartland smells like fresh country air (cow dung).

Heartland feels like small town life -- Mayberry and everybody knowing everybody else.

Heartland tastes like corn.

Rhymes with Heartland: LAND A abbeyland, B borderland, D Disneyland, DR dreamland, E eland, F fairyland, farmland, fatherland, GR grassland, Greenland, H headland, hinterland, Holy Land, homeland, I inland, KR crownland, KW Queensland, L land, Lapland, lotus land, lowland, M mainland, midland, moorland, motherland, N never-never land, no man’s land, northland, O overland, R Rhineland, T toyland, U upland, W wasteland, woodland MAND D demand, F full-manned, H half-manned, I ill-manned, K command, confirmand, countermand, M manned, R remand, reprimand, S self-command, summand, U unmanned NAND ordinand PAND expand, panned, repand PLAND planned RAND rand SAND ampersand, analysand, greensand, quicksand, sand SKAND rescanned, scanned, unscanned SPAND respanned, spanned, unspanned STAND bandstand, bedstand, grandstand, handstand, inkstand, kickstand, lampstand, newsstand, stablestand, stand, understand, washstand, withstand STRAND strand TAND retanned, tanned, untanned VAND revanned, vanned

John Mellencamp sings about the heartland
His lyrics never seem canned
Yet they're easy to understand
He makes you long for your homeland.

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Morn Is Praised

"Morn Is Praised" #JSLAY

Now I'm just here to praise the rays
That come with the start of each day
I like the sun's rays on my face
I'm glad the dawn of this morning is here

[CHORUS]
Now I don't care where you were born or raised
Just think about that blackbird and you'll agree
When I say this morn should be praised
So don't put up a fight just sing along with me

I don't seek the high life, fortune or fame
I try to do right, do the things I should do
I don't treat life like some silly little game
Please join me in praising morn, why don't you?

[CHORUS]
Now I don't care where you were born or raised
Just think about that blackbird and you'll agree
When I say this morn should be praised
So don't put up a fight just sing along with me

Now as I get dressed, as I put on my graith
I think about long-lost friends and about lost lovers
I wonder if I were the sun's rays, would I be a wraith?
Could I change direction or would I just hover?

[CHORUS]
Now I don't care where you were born or raised
Just think about that blackbird and you'll agree
When I say this morn should be praised
So don't put up a fight just sing along with me

Prom Kings Don't Like Trivia

"Prom Kings Don't Like Trivia" #JSLAY

Well trivia's tricky
But you can clear the boards from time to time

Well trivia's tricky
But you can clear the boards from time to time

I'm thinking a game with some trivia
Is what I need to win

But there's some guys in this town
They don't like trivia -- they just put it down

I know that prom kings don't like trivia
They just don't care 'bout the capital of Bolivia

I'm thinking a game with some trivia
Is what I need to win

Now I don't really need to steal
I need just need some filthy luchre
Don't care if it's trivia, cards or "Let's Make a Deal"
Could be dollars, rubles or sucre

But if trivia's the only way to go
I need to win -- not place or show

Prom kings don't like trivia
Prom kings don't like trivia
Prom kings don't like trivia
Prom kings don't like trivia

I'm thinking a game with some trivia
Is what I need to win

Prom kings don't like trivia
Prom kings don't like trivia
Prom kings don't like trivia
Prom kings don't like trivia [fade out]

Hand

2015 01 28 "Hand" #OW

A hand is a thing at the far end of your arm used for grasping and manipulating objects.

A hand looks like four fingers and a thumb, unless it's badly mangled.

A hand sounds like fingers snapping or an audience clapping.

A hand smells like raw uncooked meat.

A hand feels like, whatever you want it to feel, man.  It's chill.

A hand tastes like chicken.

Rhymes with Hand: and, Chateaubriand, waniand BAND A aband, armband, B band, banned, bellyband, BR, breastband, browband, D disband, H hatband, headband, I imband, N neckband, noseband, K contraband, R rainband, wristband, S saraband, SP spaceband, SW sweatband, TR trainband, W waistband, waveband BLAND bland BRAND brand, firebrand DAND dand, deodand FAND fanned, refanned GLAND gland, goat gland, monkey gland GRAND grand, integrand, Rio Grande HAND A afterhand, B backhand, behindhand, BR bridlehand, E even hand, F fine Italian hand, forehand, four-in-hand, Handhothand, L longhand, M master hand, minute hand, O offhand, overhand, S secondhand, second hand, SH shorthand, ST stagehand, U underhand, unhand, upperhand KAND canned, multiplicand, Samarkand KLAND clanned

Look at my hand
It helps me to drink my Chateaubriand
Or to put on my armband.
I don't think a hand should ever be banned!

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Tweaker's Tea

"Tweaker's Tea" #JSLAY

Now the signal of your telephone
Ain't the signal of a grammaphone
And the videos on my MTV
Ain't as trippy as they used to be

And it's a pain to see
I got my high from a tweaker's tea

I like a girl in a dress that's billowy
Show a little leg -- show me something sexy
Turn me on and I'll agree
I don't like to drink this tweaker's tea

Now they sing about this or that
How they pierced their nose or got a tat
Kids these days they're such a blight
Creep me out, give me a fright

What a pain to see
I like a girl in a dress that's billowy
Show a little leg -- show me something sexy
Turn me on and I'll agree
I don't like to drink this tweaker's tea
I don't like to drink this tweaker's tea

I get sad about it
I'm sure not glad about it
I've had all I can have about it
And I'd be better off without it
Just show me something I'd like to see
I like a girl in a dress that's billowy
Make me feel a little heavenly
I don't like to drink this tweaker's tea
I don't like to drink this tweaker's tea
I don't like to drink this tweaker's tea

Now the signal of your telephone
Ain't the signal of a grammaphone

Colorado Rays

"Colorado Rays" #JSLAY

Did you guess that you were right
When I was wrong?
I thought we were gonna fight
Until you played that song...

But here we are you and me
And by your side is the place to be
Smoking some chronic in a purple haze
And though it's winter soaking up the Colorado rays

Good times, make me feel

You're a good girl with a nice smile
Glad to see you, glad we could reconcile
And you've taught me so much I should know
Like when to hold on and when to let go
Want you now, right or wrong, anyhow
These Colorado rays make me bolder
Girl, I want you, want you, want you, and how...

I admit I'm a hell raiser
I'm a trouble trailblazer
But you help keep me from harm
Something about you makes me feel so warm

And I can't lie to you (lie to you)
Girl, you've got sex appeal
Sometimes when I don't know what to do
I just think about how you make me feel...

Good times, make me feel

You're a good girl with a nice smile
Glad to see you, glad we could reconcile
And you've taught me so much I should know
Like when to hold on and when to let go
Want you now, right or wrong, anyhow
These Colorado rays make me bolder
Girl, I want you, want you, want you, and how...
[x2]

Bran

2015 01 27 "Bran" #OW

Bran is a type of grain that is good for digestion.

Bran looks like something brown usually in your cereal, like Raisin Bran

Bran sounds like cereal drowned in milk.

Bran smells like fresh country air.

Bran feels like a satisfying bowel movement.

Bran tastes like bland cereal with raisins in it.

Rhymes with Bran: AN an, yuan, Yuan, abecedarian BAN ban, cabane, Caliban, corban  CHAN chan DAN echinidan, foo young dan, harridan, Houdan, Mohammedan, oppidan, Ramadan, randan, redan, Sedan, shandrydan, Sudan FAN fan, turbofan FLAN flan GAN Afghan, began, hooligan, cardigan, larrigan, Michigan, mulligan, origan, suffragan, ptarmigan, tsigane, wanigan, yataghan GRAN gran HAN Han KAN A African, American, Anglican, astrakhan, B balmacaan, barbican, barracan, basilican, billycan, D Dominican, G Gallican, I indican, K can, khan, cancan, M Mexican, O oil can, P pecan, pelican, pemmican, publican, R republican, Republican, rubican, U ugly American, V Vatican KLAN clan, Klan KRAN cran LAN gamelan, castellan, Catalan, Milan, ortolan, tolan, yulan

I like Raisin Bran
But I can't eat it in a sedan
Or riding in a caravan
I'm too civilized -- an American!

Monday, January 26, 2015

The Rage of Hurry

"The Rage of Hurry" #JSLAY

Open your eyes and open yourself
Come down from your ivory tower
You've been living in your bookshelf
It's time to claim your power

Don't be so quick to run alone
Be careful when you go on a hike
You could stumble, even break a bone
You and I are too much alike

Beware of the rage of hurry
Riled in the rage of hurry
Wild with the rage of hurry
Girl, say, "Hurry, why would you dare?"

Show your battle is not with the world
Though you give as good as you get
Reach for your goals, go for it, girl,
Aim high but avoid too much debt

Make your plan than rearrange it
It's a woman's prerogative
If it's not right you can change it
And don't back down -- you're inquisitive

Beware of the rage of hurry
Riled in the rage of hurry
Wild with the rage of hurry
Girl, say, "Hurry, why would you dare?"

Riled in the rage of hurry
Saxifrage dies from the rage of hurry
Just say, "Hurry, you're not welcome here!"

Quean of Salicornia

"Quean of Salicornia" #JSLAY

Hello spring, hello dew
I've 20 bucks to share with you
What'll that get me?  Something nice?
If you're a good girl you can do me twice
Yeah, that's two blows

I saw a picture of you in an evening gown
As a quean of Salicornia you're really down, down, down

Hey, good lookin' give me some strange
What are you offerin' in my price range?
Looking for a song by Neil Youn that's kind new
Something fresher than Harvest from 1972

I saw a picture of you in an evening gown
As a quean of Salicornia you're really down, down, down

[INSTRUMENTAL]

When I see you I say, "Howdy,"
'Cause you're cool with it when I get rowdy
Procol Harem sang a A Whiter Shade of Pale
That's a good background song when I'm drinking some ale
Dang this hangnail!

[INSTRUMENTAL]

I saw a picture of you in an evening gown
As a quean of Salicornia you're really down, down, down

[INSTRUMENTAL]

Campaign

2015 01 26 "Campaign" #OW

A campaign is a directed effort to win something, whether an election, an argument, a request for money, or a girl's heart.

A campaign looks like a smarmy politician kissing babies and trying to destroy his opponent's reputation with innuendo and negative ads.

A campaign sounds like a loudspeaker perched on top of a pickup truck exhorting people to vote for whatever candidate.

A campaign smells like old newspaper after it's been used to wrap fished.

A campaign feels like a smarmy politician trying to kiss your baby.

A campaign tastes like cheap chicken at an expensive fundraiser.

Rhymes with :  ain, Aisne, ane, eigne, inane bane, bugbane, fleabane, henbane, herbbane, inurbane, cowbane, ratsbane, urbane, wolfsbane blain, chilblain brane, brain, endbrain, featherbrain, forebrain, hindbrain, lamebrain, membrane, midbrain, scatterbrain chain, enchain, interchain, rechain, unchain  Dane, deign, demimondaine, disdain, foreordain, intermundane, kadein, coordain, mundane, ordain, preordain, reordain, transmundane braindrain, drain, subdrain A allophane, aerophane, areophane, D diaphane, F fain, fane, feign, H hydrophane, L lithophane, M misfeign, PR profane, S cellophane, Sinn Fein refrain  again, gain, gaine, regain  against the grain, engrain, grain, grosgrain, ingrain, crossgrain, migraine  arcane, Biscayne, Duquesne, hurricane, Cain, cane, cocaine, Cockaigne, chicane, procaine, cinquain, sugar cane  crane, water crane, Ukraine  chamberlain, delaine, lain, laine, lane, procelain, chatelain, chatelaine  A amain, CH chow mein, D demesne, domain, H humane, I immane, inhumane, J germane, L legerdemain, M main, Maine, mane, mortmain, R remain, romaine, SH Charlemagne, T ptomaine  elecampane, frangipane, campaign, campane, counterpane, marchpane, pain, pane, propane, Champaign, champagne, windowpane  A aeroplane, airplane, aquaplane, B biplane, E explain, emplane, H hydro-plane, J gyroplane, K complain, M monoplane, multiplane, P peneplain, pursuit plane, PL plain, plane, S sailplane, seaplane, SH Champlain, SK skiplane, T taxiplane, tailplane, TR triplane, V volplane, W warplane

It's a winning campaign
Though it may seem mundane
The other guy's such a lamebrain
Plus we have a video of him snorting cocaine.

Sunday, January 25, 2015

Champ

2015 01 25 "Champ" #OW

Champ refers to the winner of a competition, whether it be Muhammad Ali with the world heavyweight title, a little league baseball team, the blue ribbon trophy winner at a dog show, or a young girl winning a bakeoff at the state fair.

Champ looks like arms raised in victory, holding a trophy.

Champ sounds like the roar of the crowd in appreciation of the victor's valiant effort.

Champ smells like sweat and locker room grease.

Champ feels like success!

Champ tastes like hard work and sweat.

Rhymes with : AMP amp CHAMP champ DAMP afterdamp, blackdamp, chokedamp, damp, deathdamp, firedamp, whitedamp, minedamp GAMP gamp, guimpe KAMP decamp, encamp, camp KLAMP clamp, unclamp KRAMP cramp LAMP blowlamp, Davy lamp, electric lamp, gas lamp, kerosene lamp, lamp, safety lamp, signal lamp PAMP slampamp RAMP ramp SAMP samp SKAMP scamp STAMP backstamp, enstamp, restamp, stamp TAMP tamp, retamp TRAMP tramp VAMP revamp, vamp HWAMP whamp YAMP yamp

Baby, you're a champ
You're the greatest girl at camp
You've worked up a sweat -- you're really quite damp
You've even got sweat rivulets covering up your tramp stamp!

Saturday, January 24, 2015

Jam

2015 01 24 "Jam" #OW

Jam is a mixture of fruit pulp or crushed fruit, sugar, and pectin.

Jam looks like a primary color with little seeds in it from the fruit.

Jam sounds like jello squishing between your toes.

Jam smells like whatever fruit it's made from -- apple, strawberry, blueberry, or whatever.

Jam feels like jello squishing between your toes.

Jam tastes like fruit and sugar.

Rhymes with Jam: JAM demijambe, doorjamb, enjamb, jamb, jimjam KAM cam KLAM hardshell clam, clam, littleneck clam, mud clam, razor clam, softshell clam, steamer clam KRAM cram LAM lam, lamb MAM ma’am, Mam NAM Vietnam PAM pam PRAM pram RAM battering ram, dithyramb, marjoram, ram, rhamn SAM Assam, cheong-sam, Samsam, Uncle Sam SHAM sham SHRAM shram SKAM scam SKRAM scram SLAM slam SPAM Spam SWAM swam TAM tam, tamtam TRAM tram YAM yam, Omar Khayyam ZAM alakazam, Nizam, shazam, zam

I like jelly I like jam
But don't serve me jam or jelly made from Spam!
I don't care if I'm in Korea, Iran, or Vietnam
If you offer a tasty jelly, I'll say, "Thank you, Ma'am!"

Friday, January 23, 2015

Crude to Blow Me

"Crude to Blow Me" #JSLAY

It's just the wildest ride
Getting to go with you there
So many things I've tried
But now I'm walking on air
You're crude to blow me -- but, wow!
You're crude to blow me -- but, wow!

In all my heavy thoughts
In all my deep thinking
You blow me like a boss
All my cares are sinking
You're crude to blow me -- but, wow!
You're crude to blow me -- but, wow!

You're crude to blow me -- but, wow!
You're crude to blow me -- but, wow!
You're crude to blow me -- but, wow!
You're crude to blow me -- but, wow!

Bends, Hovers or Huffing

"Bends, Hovers or Huffing" #JSLAY

Now that you're bent over
You're so loving kind
I'll be thinking 'bout you
Yeah, girl, you're on my mind

Love you do, love me not
Spend my time with heavy sighs
Girl, whatever you got
When I'm with you, oh, how time flies

Bends, Hovers or Huffing
You're kinda like the one
Bends, Hovers or Huffing
You're the best I've ever seen
So give me love

I whisper, "I'll come closer"
'Cause I'm into you
You're morose but I'm moroser
'Cause no other girl will do

You're on my mind I'm in your hood
It's a vicious game
'Cause when you're bad it feels so good
No other woman makes me feel the same

Bends, Hovers or Huffing
You're my queen bee
Bends, Hovers or Huffing
You're the best I've ever seen
So give me love

Bends, Hovers or Huffing
You're my queen bee
Bends, Hovers or Huffing
You're the best I've ever seen
So give me love

Yeah, you're the best I've ever seen
So give me love

Any way other than up is down
When you're gone it makes me frown
When you say yes I love you so... [fade out]

Ledge of Hot Fire

"Ledge of Hot Fire" #JSLAY

Strung and full of cunning
I'm tired of all this running
I like to think I'm great
But sometimes I just don't rate

Love is really something
This feeling -- is it breaking me?
For all of my dreaming
And all of my scheming
How can I let it be?

I wanna scream out loud
I'm young and I'm proud
'Cause I'm not shaken and I'm not bowed

You turn me on, you take me higher
Till I feel like I'm standing on a ledge of hot fire
If you're the one selling, baby, I'm your buyer

So strung and full of cunning
I'm running to the ledge of fire
Silently seething
Like a two-year-old teething
Gimme some of your good stuff

Wired like a force multiplier
know I'll crash on the couch
and if you trip over me in the middle of the night
I'm gonna scream and say, "Ouch."

Don't say diddly-squat
Just be here and spend time with me
'Cause I'm mad at the world and just need you, you see

I wanna scream out loud
I'm young and I'm proud
'Cause I'm not shaken and I'm not bowed

Don't say diddly-squat
Just be here and spend time with me
'Cause I'm mad at the world and just need you, you see

I wanna scream out loud
I'm young and I'm proud
'Cause I'm not shaken and I'm not bowed

Ham

2015 01 23 "Ham" #OW

Ham looks like a lump of pinkish meat.

Ham sounds very quiet -- just the soft sucking sounds I make as I clean every last bit off my fingers.

Ham smells like fried pig!

Ham feels like muscle and bone

Ham tastes like sunshine wrapped in rainbows and covered with pig fat.

Rhymes with : AM ad nauseam, am, Iamb, choriamb, Kayam, Siam BAM Alabam’, bam, wham-bam CHAM cham DAM Amsterdam, beldam, dam, damn, goddamn, grandam, grande dame, cofferdam, madame, milldam, Rotterdam DRAM drachm, dram, dramme FLAM flam, flimflam, oriflamme FRAM diaphragm GAM gam, gamb GRAM A anagram, aerogram, B barogram, D dactylogram, diagram, E echocardiogram, electrocardiogram, electroencephalogram, encephalogram, epigram, F phonogram, photogram, FR phraseogram, GR gram, gramme, H hexagram, hectogram, H hierogram, histogram, I ideogram, ichnogram, K cablegram, candygram, kilogram, KR cryptogram, chronogram, L lexigram, lipogram, logogram, M melogram, milligram, N nephogram, pneumencephalogram, P pangram, paragram, parallelogram, pelmatogram, PR program, R roentgenogram, S centigram, sonogram, ST stereogram, T tangram, telegram, tetragram HAM Abraham, Birmingham, ham, Nottingham HWAM wham, whimwham

I can't say for sure whether I LOVE ham
Or HATE pigs!  But I mean damn!
I'll have one bite -- two -- three-four -- wham bam!
I try to be positive -- ham's magical -- it's got that whimwham!

Thursday, January 22, 2015

Corridor of Strife

"Corridor of Strife" #JSLAY

Come out Monsters
Come out Ghouls
Come out Dark Ones
Bring all your monstrous pals

I am steadfast
I am brave
I'm here ready to make you behave

I'm in the corridor of strife
At the corridor of strife
Monsters have come pouring from under my bed

I've got a crowbar
And I love to smash
Gonna throw down
It's a real monster bash!

I saw your locket
It gave me a thrill
You got it from your mother I bet
Your mom's always so chill

All the whimpering
And all the moans
Those guy's be sorry they met me alone

I'm in the corridor of strife
At the corridor of strife
Monsters have come pouring from under my bed

I'm in the corridor of strife
At the corridor of strife
I've got no choice but to fight till they're all dead

No more whimpering
No more moans
Just monster groans

I'm in the corridor of strife
At the corridor of strife
Monsters have come pouring from under my bed

I'm in the corridor of strife
I'm at the corridor of strife
I've got no choice but to fight till they're all dead
So right now, we're gonna fight now
I'm gonna give what for, and how!

I'm in the corridor of strife
At the corridor of strife
I've got no choice but to fight till they're all dead

Cross Toads

"Cross Toads" #JSLAY

I bent down by those cross toads, felt such a disease
I bent down by those cross toads, looking for my keys
Asked Anthony to help me find what's missing please

I bent down by those cross toad, have you ever had one fried?
I bent down by those cross toad, have you ever had one fried?
They looked so cross at me, if looks could kill I'd'vd died

You can hop, you can skip, tell my buddy Joe Black
You can hop, you can skip, tell my buddy Joe Black
If I can find my keys for these cross toads, I'm'a have a heart attack!

Dame

2015 01 22 "Dame" #OW

A dame is a female type woman person.

In some contexts, a dame might look like that super-old lady who gets all the best one-liners on Downtown Abbey.

However, it's more fun to picture a dame as a sexy femme fatale in a tight red dress.

This dame smells like whiskey and cheap perfume.  (She doesn't smell like cigarettes because, hey, who wants to lick an ashtray?)

She tastes like butter.

She sounds like, "Yes, Daddy!  More, more, faster, harder!"

She feels soft although she keeps herself in shape and has firm muscles.

Rhymes with Dame:  aim blame melodrame defame, disfame, fame aflame, flame, inflame airframe, doorframe, frame endgame, game, videogame, wargame hame became, came, kame, overcame acclaim, declaim, disclaim, exclaim, claim, counterclaim, quitclaim, proclaim, reclaim crème de la crème lame  maim  byname, forename, misname, name, nickname, rename, surname, unname  same, self-same, Sejm S ashame, shame entame, tame, untame

Wow! That's some dame!
Not to sleep with her would be such a dame
I think it would be fun to play her game
Taking her to bed's my endgame

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Spadassin

"Spadassin" #JSLAY

I work real quiet here under the sheets
Not a sound do I make unless you count their moans
But once I get worked up, I make the beats
Yeah, when I've started her up, you can hear my moans
It's what I do

I be excellent and then I go away
I work at night but still I make her day
I don't work with a knife, no I work with a sword
And I'm not soft, no, I'm stiff as a board

Here comes the sun light
I've been rocking her world with all of my might
In a little room on her big bed
I rocked her so hard she seems a little dead
"Petit mort" she whispers as she recovers
It's hard to hear her she's still under the covers

I be excellent and then I go away
I work at night but still I make her day
I don't work with a knife, no I work with a sword
And I'm not soft, no, I'm stiff as a board

I'm a thriller, that best there is at what I do
I'm leave 'em satisfied, if covered in goo
Yeah, I'm a spadassin but I don't use a literal sword
I penetrate their bodies and their hearts but I'm adored

Suddenly she's in over her head and she can barely breathe
And when I get up to go she begs me not to leave
She's hoarse from moaning and groaning -- yeah, I rang her bell
When she realizes she can't make me stay she wishes me well
And if I don't come back it's like leaving her in hell...

I'm gone

I'm a thriller, that best there is at what I do
I'm leave 'em satisfied, if covered in goo
Yeah, I'm a spadassin but I don't use a literal sword
I penetrate their bodies and their hearts but I'm adored

I'm a spadassin
I'm a spadassin
I'm a spadassin
I'm a spadassin and they love what I do

Disaffectedly Pronely

"Disaffectedly Pronely" #JSLAY

Had a little jam, but I spread it fine
Don't have enough left to make you mine
Don't want to get you started, don't want to rev you up
Don't want you to get to wantin' if I can't fill your cup

Ever so gentle
Ever so kind
That's how I like to be
Ever so gentle
To make you mine
Satisfaction guaranteed

I'm disaffectedly pronely
I'm disaffectedly pronely
I'm disaffectedly pronely (Yeah)
Don't like to get up for no one
No one ever did nuthin' for me

I see folks in town ever' now and then
Make a little small talk -- say, "Have a nice day"
Then I'm back here on the couch again
If folks come over, I don't invite 'em to stay

IEver so gentle
Ever so kind
That's how I like to be
Ever so gentle
To make you mine
Satisfaction guaranteed

I'm disaffectedly pronely
I'm disaffectedly pronely
I'm disaffectedly pronely (Yeah)
Don't like to get up for no one
No one ever did nuthin' for me

And so it goes, that's about it
If you don't like it, well, that's tough shit
I paid my money and I take what I get
If you move again' me, you're gonna lose your bet
Now maybe I'm right and maybe I'm wrong
You should guess that I'm right 'cos I wrote this song

I'm disaffectedly pronely
I'm disaffectedly pronely
I'm disaffectedly pronely (Yeah)
Don't like to get up for no one
No one ever did nuthin' for me

(For today, For today, it's the way that I make it)

Carnival

2015 01 21 "Carnival" #OW

A carnival is a mobile small amusement park that travels from town to town during certain times of the year.

They were big in the early 20th century but have mostly died out over the past several decades.

A carnival looks like a gathering of rides and attractions arranged around a midway.

A carnival sounds like gears grinding, children laughing, and barkers selling their wares above the tinny music of the merry-go-round or Ferris wheel.

A carnival smells like cotton candy.

A carnival feels like a gentle caress as someone picks your pocket.

A carnival tastes like poor-quality food fried in fat, like deep-fried Twinkies.

Rhymes with Carnival: KWAL ventriloqual MAL animal, decimal, hexidecimal, infinitesimal, quadragesimal, lachrymal, millesimal, minimal, shamal, synonymal NAL A aboriginal, adhesional, affectional, antiphonal, arsenal, B bacchanal, banal, D decanal, denominational, descensional, destinal, devotional, diagonal, diaconal, digressional discretional, divisional, doctrinal, duodecimal, E educational, echinal, expansional, exceptional, emotional, evolutional, F phenomenal, fictional, functional, FR fractional, H hexagonal, heptagonal, I imaginal, imitational, impersonal, indigenal, inguinal, inspirational, institutional, instructional, insurrectional, intentional, interjectional, international, intercessional, intestinal, J geminal, germinal, K cardinal, carcinal, communal, complexional, conditional, confessional, congressional, conclusional, constitutional, contradictional, conventional, conversational, convulsional, KR criminal, L longitudinal, M machinal, marginal, matinal, matronal, matutinal, medicinal, meridional, missional, N national, nominal, notional, O occasional, octagonal, optional, original, P partitional, passional, patronal, pentagonal, personal, polygonal, PR precautional, probational, professional, progressional, proportional, processional, provisional, R rational, rationale, regional, recessional, retinal, S sensational, seasonal, synchronal, circumlocutional, ST staminal, T terminal, tympanal, torsional, TR traditional, trigonal, V vaginal, viminal, virginal, visional, volitional, Y urinal PAL Episcopal, municipal, pal, principal RAL A admiral, agricultural, anchoral, arbocultural, architectural, D doctoral, E ephemeral, extemporal, F falderal, federal, femoral, funeral, G geyseral, guttural, H horticultural, I inaugural, J general, gestural, K cantoral, carnivoral, collateral, chorale, corral, L literal, littoral, M magistral, mayoral, mensural, mineral, morale, N natural, P pastoral, pastorale, pastural, peripheral, pictural, postural, PR preceptoral, S several, supernatural, sutural, SH chapparal, SK sculptural, SKR scriptural, T tellural, temporal, textural, TR tragicomipastoral, V vesperal, visceral SAL Provençale, sal, salle, quetzal SHAL seneschal, shall TAL D digital, H hospital, K capital, M marital, N nepotal, O orbital, P palatal, pedestal, pivotal, SK skeletal, V vegetal VAL festival, interval, travale

Ever been to a carnival?
Pickings these days seem skeletal
Hard to believe it once considered a festival
The midway these days just seems a bit banal.

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Toodle-oo Fez

"Toodle-oo Fez" #JSLAY

"Toodle-oo, Fez," you say on the phone
Turn off the lights and pull on my bone
Make me whimper make me groan
"Toodle-oo, Fez," when we're all alone

Who says you should torture me?
Why can't you commit or just let me be
Reclaim the mystery
Who says you should torture me?

It's been a hard night in Raleighville
You reassure me -- tell me you took the pill
You can't forget when we first met
Thinking back I can't recall if I won or lost that bet

Boo says she telephoned
Boo's a girl I used to know
She'd rock my world for a day or so
I'm kinda glad that she telephoned

Drew's another friend of mine
A real sea creature -- smells like salt and brine
Kinda cruel -- never really kind
Don't know why Drew's a friend of mine

It's been a hard night in Raleighville
Reminds me of good times when we used to chill
You can't forget when we first met
Thinking back I can't recall if I won or lost that bet

Groo says, "What's an Anglophone?"
Likes to skip in the dark alone
If he trips, he'll cry and moan
Who says, "What's an Anglophone?"
Mmhmm

It's been a hard night in Raleighville
It's hard work -- not chilling on a window sill
You can't forget when we first met
Thinking back I can't recall if I won or lost that bet

Laugh At My Part

"Laugh At My Part" #JSLAY

When you're with me the party never ends
We mix it up with good times just to see what blends
But you keep breaking in, always, like, arguing
Doing your best to harsh my mellow with your angry braying

Oh, you laugh at my part like you won the negotiation
Laugh at my part alla time
Laught at my part -- now it's time to tell you
that I won't stop dissing you (won't stop dissing)
oh, don't laugh at my part

I do my Kegels and the other exercises
I work hard from dawn until the sun rises
Pronely was the gong I rang, 'til one day you called
Telling me, oh, brother may I tell you why you seem stalled

Oh, you laugh at my part like you won the negotiation
Laugh at my part alla time
Laugh at my part -- now it's time to tell you
that I won't stop dissing you (won't stop dissing)
oh, don't laugh at my part
don't laugh at my part

You fill your bong
but I can only smoke weed when you wear your thong
Up the street, feel the beat
You'll regret that you were cruel enough to laugh at my part
But I can't stop dissing you
I can't stop dissing you [x3]
but I can't stop dissing you when you laugh at my...

laugh at my part
laugh at my part

Ginger Ale

2015 01 20 "Ginger Ale" #OW

Ginger ale is a soft drink.

It looks like colored carbonated water with added sugar.

It sounds like soda pouring into a glass on a hot summer day.

It feels wet and sticky.

It smells like wet sugar.

It tastes sweet.

Rhymes with Ginger Ale: ail, ale, Baal, bail, bale brail, Braille Airedale, Chippendale, dale, quardeel, merdaille drail dwale fail, pass-fail flail frail farthingale, gale, galingale, martingale, nightingale, regale  engrail, grail, Holy Grail all hail, exhale, hail, hale, ylahayll, inhale  whale, narwhale  engaol, enjail, gaol, jail, ungaol, unjail kail, kale, percale quail

All hail Canada Dry Ginger Ale!
That's my holy grail
If it could sing it would sound sweet as a nightingale!
I don't just drink that Nectar of the Gods -- it's something I inhale!

Monday, January 19, 2015

All You Ever Say Is Do Me Right

"All You Ever Say Is Do Me Right" #JSLAY

Just when I finished lapping you up
You smile wildly at me and say, "Keep it up,"
I try to please you so I do it again
Keep licking the alphabet's till you say, "When."

I think you're gonna sprain my tongue again
My lips are parched my throat is dry

When all you ever say is, "Do me right"
All you ever say is, "Do me right"
All you ever say is, "Do me right"
All you ever say is, "Do me right"

I went jogging, I rode my bike
You said, "Do me again then you can drop the mike..."

I worship you more than my tongue can say
But my tongue's a sore pretzel after yesterday

I think you're gonna sprain my tongue again
My lips are parched my throat is dry

When all you ever say is, "Do me right"
All you ever say is, "Do me right"
All you ever say is, "Do me right"
All you ever say is, "Do me right"

"Do me right"
"Do me right"
"Do me right"

All you ever say is, "Do me right"
All you ever say is, "Do me right"
All you ever say is, "Do me right"
All you ever say is, "Do me right"

All you ever say is, "Do me right"
[to fade..]

Jailbreak Carfare

"Jailbreak Carfare" #JSLAY

Got 3 strikes
That's why I thought I'd write
Think up ways
To make myself a free man again

I'm a man not afraid to dare
I don't give up easy -- I don't scare
I'm asking you for jailbreak carfare
Once you send the money in
That's when I can begin
Send me jailbreak carfare

If you want my love then do what I tell you!
If you want my love then do what I tell you!

Stop your game
Put some cash in an envelope and send it my way
To see my face
Help me out the money -- just do what I say

Too many rules here in the joint
Do this!  Do that!  What's the point?
Gotta get out!  I'm at my breakpoint
You can help me win --
Do I really have to tell you again?
Send me jailbreak carfare!

If you want my love then do what I tell you!
If you want my love then do what I tell you!

I tell you...

How come you make me repeat myself on this long-distance call?
God only knows why I put up with you -- it's like you don't love me at all.

Sene me jail... jailbreak...

I don't care if you don't sleep at all this week
Just send me the money -- I want it now
Be smart about it -- think like a sneak
I won't micromanage you -- won't tell you how
Bribe a guard, or just let yourself in
Don't whatever it takes to get me jailbreak carfare
If you do it right just once, won't have to do it again
Freedom has a name, it's jailbreak, jailbreak.

It's jailbreak carfare
It's jailbreak carfare
It's jailbreak carfare

Autodidact

2015 01 19 "Autodidact" #OW

An autodidact is someone who is self-taught.

Rhymes with Autodidact: AKT abreact, act, enact, entr’acte, coact, counteract, overact, overreact, react, reenact, retroact, underact, underreact BAKT backed, humpbacked, hunchbacked, rebacked, saddle-backed, stoopbacked, unbacked BRAKT bract DAKT redact, theodidact FAKT artifact, fact, in fact, matter-of-fact FRAKT defract, diffract, fract, infract, catophract, refract HAKT hacked, unhacked PAKT epact, impact, compact, pact RAKT cataract, racked, wracked, tesseract SAKT resacked, retransact, sacked, transact STRAKT abstract, reabstract SWAKT swacked TAKT attacked, intact, contact, reattacked, recontact, tact, unattacked TRAKT attract, detract, distract, extract, contract, protract, retract, subtract, tracked, tract, untracked ZAKT exact, inexact, transact

You'd never guess I'm an autodidact
So many secrets inside me -- like a tesseract
Learning on your own's not science -- it's inexact
And I don't know what I don't know -- like an ignorance cataract!

Sunday, January 18, 2015

Ax

2015 01 18 "Ax" #OW

An ax is a tool with a blade, typically attached to a handle.  The blade can have one sharp edge or multiple sharp edges.  The handle can be long or short.

An ax looks like a stick with a sharp piece of metal at one end.

An ax sounds like wood chopping.

An ax smells like sweat and wood chips.

An ax tastes like pain.

An ax feels terrible, like the loss of a vital limb.

Rhymes with : AKS ax, axe, battleax, battleaxe, coax, pickax, poleax DAKS addaks, Adirondacks FAKS facts, fax, Halifax FLAKS flacks, flax, toadflax JAKS Ajax LAKS Analax, lax, smilax, parallax, relax, unlax MAKS anticlimax, Betamax, Blue max, climax, Lomax, minimax, subclimax NAKS Fornax PAKS packs, pax, repacks, unpacks RAKS borax, hyrax, styrax, storax, thorax SAKS Sach’s, sacks, Saks, sax, Tay-Sachs SFAKS Sfax SLAKS slacks TAKS attacks, excise tax, income tax, overtax, sales tax, syntax, supertax, surtax, tacks, tax, undertax THRAKS anthrax, thrax WAKS beeswax, bewax, earwax, sealing wax, unwax, wax ZAKS zax

I chopped the firewood with an ax
When the enemy attacks I chop them with a battleaxe
When I attach a cable I do it with coax
I'm not making it up -- these are the facts!

Saturday, January 17, 2015

We'll Likely Grind Until You Boo-hoo

"We'll Likely Grind Until You Boo-hoo" #JSLAY

We're just getting started, and it feels so grand
Dry-humping you, well, that's my plan
And as long as you're willing, we'll likely grind until you boo-hoo

I feel your sweaters
I take my time
I like spending time with you, it feels so good whenever we grind
I'm gonna distract you so you don't poo-poo
We'll likely grind until you boo-hoo

When I'm your lover
No one else will do
You'll have to admit me if your feelings are true
'Cause you like grinding, too

So come on baby
Let me have my way
Let my hard-on keep you company
I could grind on you all day
Now I'm gonna keep begging till you'll let me do
That thing I like to do with you
Don't make stop baby, oh, don't you boo-hoo
If you're a good girl, I'll let you taste my goo

In My Pear

"In My Pear" #JSLAY

Too many night-bugs in the gloom
Too many worm-things in my fruit
I feel a sense of impending doom
Can fix this, the point is moot
I try to brace myself, try to keep it steady
Can't believe the gross stuff I'm finding there
Feels like I drank to much wine, feels a little heady
In my pear, in my pear

Danced in the dark, made myself smile
But now I can't understand just how this could be
Feel like I'm being judged, like I'm on trial
Just wanted to be with you, wish you were with me
But the hairs on the back of my neck fill me with dread
There's a creepy chill floating in the air
I feel like a living corpse, like the living dead
In my pear, in my pear

And now I'm strutting along the path
And an overfull feeling's coming over me
I look around and try to do the math
Is there a bush around here where I can pee?

Oh, it's taking too long -- could I have been wrong?  I thought I was ready
The feeling after letting it all out's just so nice
But I've been hiding behind this bush, I've been holding it steady
But instead of a warm stream I just feel like ice
It just seems I wasn't really ready, oh, no, I wasn't really ready
In my pear, there's a creepy crawly creeping there
In my pear, there's a creepy crawly creeping there

Oh it's taking so long I could be wrong, I could be ready
Oh but if I take my heart's advice
I should assume it's still unsteady
Oh, yeah I'm never really ready, Oh, yeah, I'm never really ready
I'm in repair, I'm not together but I'm getting there
I'm in repair, I'm not together but I'm getting there

In my pear, there's a creepy crawly creeping there
In my pear, there's a creepy crawly creeping there
In my pear, there's a creepy crawly creeping there
In my pear, there's a creepy crawly creeping there

Diamondback

2015 01 17 "Diamondback" #OW

A diamondback is a snake.  Is it poisonous?  Who cares -- keep it away from me!

A diamondback looks like any other snake, except it has diamonds on its back.

A diamondback tastes like -- who cares?!  I'm not having any!

A diamondback sounds just like a rattlesnake, minus the rattle.  It's not like I'm curious about what a diamondback has to say!

A diamondback feels like a wet slithering nightmare made flesh.

A diamondback smells like fear mingled with sweat.  Or is that just me, having spent all this time thinking about snakes?  YEEESH!

Rhymes with Diamondback: A aphrodisiac, ack-ack, ammoniac, amnesiac, B bivouac, D demoniac, dipsomaniac, Dyak, Dionysiac, E egomaniac, elegiac, H haemophiliac, hypochondriac, I ileac, iliac, insomniac, K cardiac, Kodiak, KL kleptomaniac, M maniac, megalomaniac, monomaniac, N nymphomaniac, O oomiak, P pyromaniac, Pontiac, S sacroiliac, sal ammoniac, coeliac, symposiac, Z zodiac BAK A aback, B bac, back, bareback, biofeedback, dieback, DR drawback, F feedback, fiddleback, fullback, FL flashback, G giveback, GR greenback, H hatchback, halfback, hardback, horseback, huckaback, humpback, hunchback, K kickback, comeback, cutback, KW quarterback, quillback, L laid-back, leaseback, leatherback, M mossback, O outback, P paperback, pickaback, piggyback, pickaback, pinchback, puffback, R razorback, SPL splashback, ST stickleback, SW switchback, T tieback, tumbak, TH throwback, W wetback, Z zweiback BLAK black, boneblack, bootblack, lampblack, shoeblack BRAK amphibrach, brach, bricabrac, ladybrac, tetrabrach CHAK chak DAK dak, Kodak, sandak FLAK flicflac, flack, flak HAK hack, hard hack, tacamahak HWAK bullwhack, bushwhack, paddywhack, whack JAK A amberjack, applejack, B bootblack, BL blackjack, FL flapjack, H hijack, HW whipjack, J jack, KR crackerjack, crossjack, L leatherjack, lumberjack, M muntjac, N natterjack, SK skipjack, skyjack, SL slapjack, SM smokejack, ST steeplejack, Y yellowjack, Union Jack

Look out for that diamondback!
It nearly gave me a heart attack!
Oh, you're not scared?  What a crackerjack!
Me, I won't sleep tonight -- I'm an insomniac...

Friday, January 16, 2015

Streaming with a Broken Part

"Streaming with a Broken Part" #JSLAY

When you're streaming with a broken part
The signal breaks up -- just falls apart
You roll your eyes and mutter, "Please"
When I can't watch my show it makes me seethe
Wondering, "Why can't I watch it here?"
At my friends's houses the signal's so clear
But here it's not, 'cause the signal's just gone, gone, gone...

When you're streaming with a broken part
The giving up just breaks your heart
The angry curses, the frustrated sighs
I want to watch that internet video with my own two eyes
Wondering, "Dear God in heaven above?
Won't you fix the signal tonight?"
No God won't, 'cause the signal's just gone, gone, gone...

Now do I have to fall asleep with cables in my hand?
Do I have to fall asleep with cables in my hand?
Do I have to fall asleep with cables in my hand?
Do I have to fall asleep with cables in my, cables in my hand?
would that fix it if I did?
'cause the signal's just gone, gone, gone...

Now do I have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?
Do I have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?
Do I have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?
Do I have to fall asleep with roses in my, roses in my hand?
would you get them if I did?
No you won't, 'cause you're gone, gone, gone, gone, gone....

When you're streaming with a broken part
Missing your favorite show just breaks your heart

Cake

2015 01 16 "Cake" #OW

Cake is a flour based dessert that comes in all kinds of shapes and sizes.

Cake can be a tall pillar of many layers like a wedding cake, or a little pool of burnt cake mix like something from a little girl's Easy Bake oven.

Cake smells like angel farts.

Cake tastes like dreams made real.

Cake sounds soft and squishy, or hard and crunchy if it's stale.

Cake feels like weight pouring onto a scale.

Rhymes with : ache, backache, bellyache, earache, headache, heartache, stomach-ache, toothache bake, hardbake, clambake, sunbake  B barley brake, BR brake, break, D daybreak, F firebreak, H handbrake, heartbreak, J jailbreak, K canebrake, coffee-break, L lunch break, O outbreak, P parabrake, U upbreak, W waterbreak, windbreak, wordbreak  drake, firedrake, mandrake, sheldrake  fake  flake, cornflake, snowflake  frake  haik, hake  jake  B beefcake, FR friedcake, fruitcake,  griddlecake, H havercake, hoe cake, honey cake, J johnnycake, K cake, coffee cake, cupcake, N nutcake, O oatcake, P pancake, piece of cake, S seed cake, SH shortcake, T tea cake, W wedding cake


I like cake
Don't care if it's real or fake
If it's cake that's jake
I'll eat wedding cake till daybreak!

Thursday, January 15, 2015

Cold as a Dove

"Cold as a Dove" #JSLAY

It must get chilly up there flying through the stratosphere
It makes me think of you, my frigid dear
Not the outstretched wings
Not the way a pretty bird sings
It's something rather less grand
Listen to the chorus and you'll understand:

Girl, you're as cold as a dove
Yeah, you're as cold as a dove
You can't hold my love
Just ask my exes

Your beak is nonstop chatter
And whatever good feelings I had you've managed to shatter
No, there's no point to your open-mouthed staring
Your coldness froze my heart -- I'm past the point of caring
I won't say you're an ice queen -- that's just to cliche
You're an all-you-can-eat iceberg buffet
I see clearly now -- it's just something I can't do
Giving my life to a cold duck like you

Girl, you're as cold as a dove
Yeah, you're as cold as a dove
You can't hold my love
Just ask my exes
Yeah they know, they know everything
you're cold, cold as a dove

Cage

2015 01 15 "Cage" #OW

A cage is a device for containment.

A cage usually looks like metal bars arrange in a square with a lockable gate.

A cage sounds like clanging metal.

A cage feels cold and hard.

A cage smells like lost freedom.

A cage tastes like chicken.

Rhymes with : alliaphage, anthropophage, bacteriophage, bibliophage, paedophage, theophage, xylophage  saxifrage  disengage, engage, gage, gauge, greengage, reengage, weather gauge  discage, encage, cage, uncage  mage  footpage, op-ed page, page, rampage, repage enrage, outrage, rage  Osage, presage, sage, unsage backstage, downstage, forestage, center stage, stage, upstage assuage, swage wage

There's no cage
Strong enough to hold my outrage
It's so big that you cannot gauge
What it's gonna take to assuage my rage.

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Crow Trancing with a Turning Broom

"Crow Trancing with a Turning Broom" #JSLAY

It's not a frilly little housedress,
It's not the boom before the bomb.
This is the lost art of trancing of
Those black crows that we've been dreaming of.

Just dream I'm holding you like you like it
Pretty soon we won't have to fake it
Girl I think we can make it
Listen close while I mike this!

You'll be going down
And you'll be watching me too
You're going down
Do me like I tell you to do
My dear,
You'll be crow trancing with a turning broom

I'm the fella from your daydreams
I'm the one that makes you moan
And when you're enjoying your cum screams
You'll know I've made you my own!

I'll make you moan from all your gladness
You'll be my bitch because I'm your man.
I'll hit you but it won't hurt you
It's the pain and pleasure that helps me rule you
I'll make you feel so dirty
Because you're a dirty girl in a dirty land.

You'll be going down
And you'll be watching me too
You're going down
Do me like I tell you to do
My dear,
You'll be crow trancing with a turning broom

You'll be going down
And you'll be watching me too
You're going down
Do me like I tell you to do
My dear, You're crow trancing with a turning broom
Turning broom,
Turning broom,
Turning broom,
Turning broom.

Mag

2015 01 14 "Mag" #OW

A mag, or magazine, is a printed publication that typically specializes in some area of interest and is published on a regulary basis (weekly, monthly, quarterly, etc.).

A mag looks like an oversized paperback on glossy paper and usually has lots of pictures.

A mag sounds like paper flapping in the breeze.

A mag is usually quiet except for the excited utterances of the reader over some interesting tidbit.

A mag tastes like paper.

A mag feels like paper.

A mag can also be a container for bullets to be fired from a gun.

Rhymes with Mag: FLAG battle flag, flag FRAG defrag, frag GAG gag HAG demihag, fag hag, hag, hellhag, night hag, old hag JAG adjag, jag KAG cag KRAG crag KWAG quag LAG jet lag, lag NAG Brobdignag, knag, nag RAG bullyrag, chew the rag, on the rag, rag, rowlyrag, shag-rag SAG sag SHAG abishag, shag SKAG skag SKRAG scrag SLAG slag SNAG snag SPRAG sprag STAG stag SWAG swag TAG ragtag, tag VAG vag WAG chinwag, scalawag, wag, wagwag, wigwag ZAG zag, zigzag

I read this mag
Got it as free swag
Not that I'm a chinwag
Where others zig, I'm gonna zag!

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Stop My Brain

"Stop My Brain" #JSLAY

Don't know what I hope to find
All these thoughts fleeting through my mind
Who?  Why?  When?  Where?  What?
My mind flitters like there's butterflies in my gut
Stop my brain I need to slow down -- that's my refrain
I need a good night's sleep -- couldn't tell you how long it's been
I need to but I can't
If I could I could stop this rant!

If I could stop it I'd do that today
Make all these restless thoughts just go away
It's all been said before -- don't know what else to say

Stop my brain
I need to slow down -- that's my refrain
I need a good night's sleep -- Lord, will I ever sleep again?
I need to rest can someone please turn off my brain

Doggie Bag

2015 01 13 "Doggie Bag" #OW

A doggie bag is a box or bag used to carry leftovers home from a dinner in a restaurant with wait service.

A doggie bag looks like an ordinary bag or paper or styrofoam box.  In a fancy restaurant a doggie bag can get quite fancy, even so much as tinfoil wrapped to resemble a swan.

A doggie bag smells like whatever food it contains.

A doggie bag can make an alarming splat if you drop it.

A doggie bag can feel hard, or it can feel like a bag of puke.

A doggie bag hopefully tastes like a delicious meal, so delicious, in fact, that you may rather eat it yourself than give it to the dog, if you even have a dog.

Rhymes with : B bag, beanbag, body bag, D debag, F feedbag, FL fleabag, H handbag, K carpetbag, kitbag, M mailbag, moneybag, N nosebag, P postbag, R ragbag, ratbag, S saddlebag, W windbag, workbag BRAG brag, Fort Bragg DAG dag DRAG drag, wallydrag FAG fag, fish fag

Waiter, may I have a doggie bag?
See, I'm on my way to Fort Bragg
To find myself with no decent food there would be such a drag...
Forgive me for going on like an old windbag!

Monday, January 12, 2015

Cultures

"Cultures" #JSLAY

Some of y'all, you drink just too much beer
Others make all kinds of drugs disappear
They live in their own private Idaho
Livin' in a nightmare world inside of their head
They can't stop -- they just go go go
till they're dead dead dead

I love to go higher
I live for danger but
You've quenched my desire
Different strokes for different folks
Be glad that I've done you
Like I do
When exhaustion keeps
Besting me, besting me, besting me

They say diversity is here
Tolerance and understanding is key
All of these cultures rising
All over the world
I hear them chanting
They're trying to rise above
Cause they've gone too long
Without respect or love

I love to go higher
I live for danger but
You've quenched my desire
Different strokes for different folks
Be glad that I've done you
Like I do
When exhaustion keeps
Besting me, besting me, besting me

The time is now
We've got to learn how
To respect these cultures
All over the world
Respect is earn, respect is taken
Believe in yourself, don't let your faith be shaken

I love to go higher
I live for danger but
You've quenched my desire
Different strokes for different folks
Be glad that I've done you
Like I do
When exhaustion keeps
Besting me, besting me, besting me

Oooooooooooo
Oooooooooooo
Oooooooooooo
Oooooooooooo
Let me do you tonight
Let me do you tonight

Hovercraft

2015 01 12 "Hovercraft" #OW

A hovercraft is a transport that moves by forcing air currents or other esoteric means other than wheels.  Hovercraft are still not practical machines.  The "hoverboard" was featured in Back to the Future Part 2 but still has not been perfected.

A hovercraft looks like a weird car without wheels.

A hovercraft is usually very loud if it uses air, but could be quiet if it used antigravity or electromagnetism.

A hovercraft feels like a car.

A hovercraft is not something you should taste.

A hovercraft smells like a car.

Rhymes with : AFT aft BAFT abaft, baffed CHAFT chaffed DAFT daft, daffed DRAFT draft, overdraft, redraft GAFT gaffed, ungaffed GRAFT allograft, engraft, photographed, graft, graphed, ingraft, lithographed, autographed, paragraphed, telegraphed HAFT haft KRAFT A aircraft, antiaircraft, F folkcraft, H handcraft, handicraft, hovercraft, KR Chriscraft, craft, M metalcraft, mooncraft, N needlecraft, PR priestcraft, R rivercraft, S seacraft, ST stagecraft, starcraft, W witchcraft, woodcraft RAFT raft SHAFT shaft STAFT overstaffed, restaffed, staffed, understaffed

Oh, get me a good hovercraft
Cause I'm not into needlecraft
I'll take it if you have to use witchcraft
Don't look at me as if I'm daft!

Sunday, January 11, 2015

Phonograph

2015 01 11 "Phonograph" #OW

A phonograph is a device that plays a disc (usually on vinyl) with audio encoded on the disc.

A phonograph is usually a turntable and looks like a box with a rotating flat wheel on top.

A phonograph tends to have imperfections in the audio, such as hisses, pops and scratches.  Some people claim that analog played via a phonograph sounds better than digital via an iPod or similar device.

A phonograph tends not to smell too much.

A phonograph feels hard.

A phonograph tastes like whatever material it happens to be made of (wood, metal, and so on).

Rhymes with Phonograph: GRAF A agraffe, actinograph, allograph, anagraph, areograph, B barograph, D diagraph, dictograph, E electro-cardiograph, electrograph, epigraph, F photograph, FR phraseograph, GR graf, graph, H hagiograph, hectograph, heliograph, hydrograph, holograph, homograph, I ideograph, eidograph, K calligraph, cardiograph, caraunograph, kymograph, kindergraph, choreograph, coronograph, KR chronograph, cryptograph, L lithograph, logograph, M macrograph, mechanograph, melograph, mimeograph, myograph, myocardiograph, monograph, N nephograph, pneumograph, O oleograph, ondograph, opisthograph, autograph, autoradiograph, P paleograph, pantograph, paragraph, perigraph, pictograph, polygraph, PL pluviograph, R radiograph, rexograph, S serigraph, sillograph, seismograph, cinematograph, SF sphygmograph, SH shadowgraph, seismograph, SP spectrograph, spectroheliograph, spirograph, ST stathmograph, stenograph, stereograph, stylograph, T tachograph, telegraph, telephotograph, TH thermograph, TR trigraph, Z xylograph, zincograph SKAF bathyscaph SKLAF sclaff STAF distaff, Falstaff, flagstaff, half-staff, gibstaff, quarterstaff, overstaff, pikestaff, plowstaff, tipstaff, understaff, waitstaff TAF bibliotaph, epitaph, cenotaph YAF yaff

Have you heard my phonograph
It's like an aural photograph
Don't hit it with your quarterstaff!
Or that will be your epitaph...

Saturday, January 10, 2015

Barmaid

2015 01 10 "Barmaid" #OW

A barmaid is a tavern wench.

A good barmaid wears one of those cleavage-enhancing bustiers that flatters her figure.

A barmaid smells like beer, booze, and fancy perfume.

A barmaid sounds like, "Would you like another, sir?  It's my pleasure to serve you!"

A barmaid tastes like chicken.

A barmaid feels oh, so, nice!

Rhymes with Barmaid: bondmaid, BR bridesmaid,
CH chambermaid, D dairy maid,
dismayed, H handmade, handmaid,
homemade, housemaid, M made, maid,
mermaid, meter maid, milkmaid, N
newmade, nursemaid, O old maid, P
pomade, R ready-made, remade, S sea
maid, self-made, serving maid, U undismayed,
unmade

Bring me another barmaid
If you treat me right maybe you'll get laid
I got plenty money -- I just got paid
Be good to me, baby, and you'll have it made.

Friday, January 09, 2015

This Part of Strife

"This Part of Strife" #JSLAY

I love to make you cry
Put you in your place
I tell you what I want you to hear
So cock your ears
and shut your face

I'll make you better than what I found
Pimps up, hos down on the ground
You'll learn to do what I think you should
You'll learn this part of strife is good

You don't shit but what you're told
You're a pump that needs priming
When I put you down you'll feel good as gold
Training you up is my thing

I'll make you better than what I found
Pimps up, hos down on the ground
You'll learn to do what I think you should
You'll learn this part of strife is good

I'll make you better than what I found
Pimps up, hos down on the ground
Fear of me is your friend who's good
Learn your place here in my hood
You'll know it's good

Accolade

2015 01 09 "Accolade" #OW

An accolade is an award.

An accolade could look like a trophy, or it could be invisible.

An accolade makes a clanging sound when you drop it on the floor.

An accolade smells like metal.

An accolade feels cold and hard.

An accolade tastes like copper.

Rhymes with Accolade: A allayed, D deep-laid, defilade, delayed, E enfilade, escalade, F fusillade, GR grillade, I inlaid, interlaid, L lade, laid, M marmalade, O overlaid, P parlayed, pistolade, R relade, relaid, relayed, U underlaid, unlade, unlaid

I won an accolade
For the way I drive my Escalade
It's gold inlaid
I like to dip it in marmalade.

Thursday, January 08, 2015

Gratuity

"Gratuity" #JSLAY

This gratuity is working for me
Your gratuity helps me go to town

Oh, I'll let you know that helps this man
Pay his bills and do the best that he can
A gratuity helps to supplement my pay

This gratuity is working for me
Your gratuity helps me go to town

[2x:]
Oh twice as much would be twice as nice
A big fat tip would be paradise
I'm wanting more
So, please, baby, tip me please

Oh, gratuity, come here and make it nice for me
Oh, gratuity has helped better men than me (money helps make me free)

Just give me 15% or more
Just give me 18% or more
Just give me 20% or more
I helped you with your chore
I helped you with your chore
I helped you with helped you with your chore (oh, oh)

Decade

2015 01 08 "Decade" #OW

A decade is a period of 10 years.

A decade looks like 10 calendars.

A decade sounds like water rushing over a waterfall.

A decade smells like decay.

A decade feels like muscles getting weaker, bones getting more brittle, arthritis getting more painful.

A decade tastes like chicken.

Rhymes with Decade: A alcaide, ambuscade, appliquéd, arcade, B barricade, BL blockade, BR brocade, D decayed, E escalade, estacade, F falcade, FR frescade, K cade, cascade, cavalcade, cockade, Medicaid, S saccade, ST stockade

It's been quite a decade
New shocks rushing past like a cavalcade
My body getting older, my mind decayed
Well, at least I didn't end up in the stockade...

Wednesday, January 07, 2015

Dese Briefs

"Dese Briefs" #JSLAY

This is for everyone with family members
Chafing under pants
Whiling making loud rants
For there's always one who makes pratfalls
Tripping in their overalls
Trying not to laugh out loud
Looking silly but feeling proud.

Oh, dese briefs
I know how they ought to be
Oh, we all wear briefs
But they're not fitting easily

Dese briefs were meant to be soft
But they bunch up too tight
If I can't get these briefs off
I'm gonna have to start a fight

I needed extra room
But the manufacturer lied
Cause when my butt goes boom
Dese briefs smell like something died.

Oh, we all wear dese briefs
For formal wear or anything
Oh, we all wear dese briefs
But they're itchy with a scratchy sting

[2x]
We're never gonna win at chess
We're never make it there
We're never gonna make out if dese briefs are what we gotta wear

I think it was last November
That was the last time
I wore the old briefs and felt just fine

[2x]
We're never gonna win at chess
We're never make it there
We're never gonna make out if dese briefs are what we gotta wear

What put a hundred thousand needles in my butt?
Dese briefs can
Dese briefs can
What causes a discomfort overlaid -- a pain glut?
Dese briefs can
Dese briefs can

Lemonade

2015 01 07 "Lemonade" #OW

Lemonade is basically water with lemon juice and sugar.

Lemonade can be a variety of colors, mainly yellow, depending on additional flavors added.  There is pink lemonade.

Lemonade can be sour (from the lemon) to sweet (from the sugar).

Lemonade can sound like glass breaking (if you drop your glass).

Lemonade feels like water.

Lemonade smells like lemons and sugar.

Rhymes with Lemonade, : ade, aid, aide, co-aid, Band-Aid, firstaid, hand-aid, ginger-ade, limeade, orangeade  bade, bayed, forbade, gambade, obeyed  blade, Damascus blade, grass blade, twayblade  abrade, abraid, braid, brayed, unbraid, upbraid brandade  fade  flayed, unflayed  afraid, defrayed, unafraid  brigade, dragade, renegade  everglade, glade, moonglade  A aggrade, B Belgrade, D degrade, downgrade, GR grade, grayed, P palmigrade, PL plantigrade, R rectigrade, regrade, regrayed, retrograde, S Centigrade, T taligrade, tardigrade, U ungrayed, hade,  wheyed, bejade, jade

I like lemonade
I like Kool-Aid
But I don't want a Band-Aid
In my glass, I'm afraid.

Tuesday, January 06, 2015

I Won't Bust Myself (For Telling You It's True)

"I Won't Bust Myself (For Telling You It's True)" #JSLAY

Now I'm someone different than I was before
A little worse for wear, a little more grime
Not the man I was in days of yore
I guess I'm looking getting older ain't some crime

Let go when it gets too tight baby
Letting go can help you make it through
Loosen your grip if you don't mind baby
I won't bust myself for telling you it's true

I'll ask for forgiveness, I'll seek out your pardon
I'll do what I can to wash out this stain
Please soften your heart -- don't let it harden
Be good to me, baby -- don't treat me with disdain

Let go when it gets too tight baby
Letting go can help you make it through
Loosen your grip if you don't mind baby
I won't bust myself for telling you it's true

Why won't you give?
Girl, I need you, what you got to give
Girl give me what you got and what I need -- what you got and what I need

Let go when it gets too tight baby
Letting go can help you make it through
Loosen your grip if you don't mind baby
I won't bust myself for telling you it's true

Let go when it gets too tight baby
Letting go can help you make it through
Let go when it gets too tight baby
I won't bust myself for telling you it's true
I won't bust myself for telling you it's true
I won't bust myself for telling you it's true
I won't bust myself for telling you it's true

Thatch

2015 01 06 "Thatch" #OW

Thatch is a kind of roofing material.

Thatch looks like straw.

Thatch sounds like entropy.

Thatch feels like scratchy straw.

Thatch tastes like grass.

Thatch smells like cow-dung.

Rhymes with thatch: BACH bach, batch BRACH brach HACH hatch, crosshatch, nuthatch KACH catch, seacatch KLACH kaffeeklatsch, coffee klatch KRACH cratch LACH latch, potlatch, unlatch MACH match, mismatch, overmatch, rematch, shooting match, undermatch NACH natch PACH dispatch, crosspatch, patch, tolpatch RACH rach, ratch SKACH scatch SKRACH scratch SLACH slatch SMACH smatch SNACH baudersnatch, snatch TACH attach, detach, tache

Don't want a roof made of thatch
That's about as classy as a pornstache
It's not my style -- me and thatch are a mismatch
I want thatch about as much as a girl with poison in her snatch

Monday, January 05, 2015

Hating on a Girl Who's Strange

"Hating on a Girl Who's Strange" #JSLAY

You and all your friends
Don't listen too good
You'll fall for anything but
I don't think you should

At your age you should be going strong
Be the change in the world that you wanna see
But you're just complaining about what's wrong
For your ass to follow first your mind must be free

So now I'm hating
Hating on a Girl Who's Strange
I keep on hating
Hating on a Girl Who's Strange

It's hard to be the solution
When you're waiting on a hero
So I keep on hating
Hating on a Girl Who's Strange

Now if I really liked her
I'd join her in her boudoir
I'd never miss a chance
To give her a little more
But her strangeness hurts my vision
She makes me gag a lot
'Cuz she reminds me of a cartoon monster, oh
Although she thinks she's pretty hot

Now if we had the power
To bring our neighbors home from war
They would have never missed a Christmas
No more ribbons on their door
And when you trust your television
What you get is what you got
Cause when they own the information, oh
They can bend it all they want

That's why I'm hating
Hating on a Girl Who's Strange
I keep on hating
Hating on a Girl Who's Strange

I'm not saying that it's fair
But I wouldn't kiss her on a dare
So I keep on hating
Hating on a Girl Who's Strange

And I'm still hating
Hating on a Girl Who's Strange
I keep on hating hating on a girl who's strange
One day her aberration
Will cause global degeneration
So I keep on hating
Hating on a Girl Who's Strange

I keep on hating
Hating on a Girl Who's Strange

Hating on a Girl Who's Strange

"Hating on a Girl Who's Strange" #JSLAY

You and all your friends
Don't listen too good
You'll fall for anything but
I don't think you should

At your age you should be going strong
Be the change in the world that you wanna see
But you're just complaining about what's wrong
For your ass to follow first your mind must be free

So now I'm hating
Hating on a Girl Who's Strange
I keep on hating
Hating on a Girl Who's Strange

It's hard to be the solution
When you're waiting on a hero
So I keep on hating
Hating on a Girl Who's Strange

Now if I really liked her
I'd join her in her boudoir
I'd never miss a chance
To give her a little more
But her strangeness hurts my vision
She makes me gag a lot
'Cuz she reminds me of a cartoon monster, oh
Although she thinks she's pretty hot

Now if we had the power
To bring our neighbors home from war
They would have never missed a Christmas
No more ribbons on their door
And when you trust your television
What you get is what you got
Cause when they own the information, oh
They can bend it all they want

That's why I'm hating
Hating on a Girl Who's Strange
I keep on hating
Hating on a Girl Who's Strange

I'm not saying that it's fair
But I wouldn't kiss her on a dare
So I keep on hating
Hating on a Girl Who's Strange

And I'm still hating
Hating on a Girl Who's Strange
I keep on hating hating on a girl who's strange
One day her aberration
Will cause global degeneration
So I keep on hating
Hating on a Girl Who's Strange

I keep on hating
Hating on a Girl Who's Strange

Crab

2015 01 05 "Crab" #OW

A crab is a sea creature with claws.  It's also a form of STD.

A crab looks like a little red monster about to eat you up.

A crab smells like the sea.

A crab smells like a skittering sea creature or fingernails on a blackboard.

A crab tastes like chicken.

A crab feels like the pain of being pinched or an unpleasant burning sensation.

Rhymes with Crab: AB abb, Joab, Moab BAB bab, baobab BLAB blab BRAB brab DAB bedab, dab, dhabb DRAB drab FAB fab, confab, prefab FRAB frab GAB baffle-gab, gab GRAB grab JAB jab KAB cab, pedicab, taxicab LAB lab, Skylab MAB mab, Mab NAB knab, nab RAB rab SHAB shab SKAB scab SLAB slab STAB stab TAB eartab, tab

Look at that crab!
Hailing a taxicab.
If I had a stick I'd give it jab.
Snatch it up and sell it to a lab!

Sunday, January 04, 2015

Panama

2015 01 04 "Panama" #OW

Panama is a country in South America famous for its canal.

Panama looks small.

Panama sounds like boats traveling by canal as the water rises and falls.

Panama smells like the sea.

Panama tastes like chicken.

Panama feels hot and muggy.

Rhymes with Panama: amah, anathema, Aceldama, grandmamma, ma, maa, mama, mamma, palama, cinema

I've never been to Panama
Not with Ma
Not with Grandmama
Have been to the cinema.

Saturday, January 03, 2015

Formula

2015 01 03 "Formula" #OW

A formula is a chemical recipe for something or a mathematical representation.

A formula looks like xs and os written on a piece of paper.

A formula sounds like a lab explosion.

A formula tastes like chicken.

A formula feels like a paper cut.

A formula smells like chemicals on a Bunsen burner.

Rhymes with formula: A alala, H holla, K cabala, qabbalah, cupola, L la, lala, N nebula, OO oolala, P parabola, peninsula, pyrola, R ranula, SP spatula, sporabola, T tarantula, tarentola, TR tralala, V viola

Try the new formula
Available only on the peninsula
It'll make you say, "Tralala,"
So if you want it just holla!

Friday, January 02, 2015

Axle

"Axle" #JSLAY

Flying, oh, it's such a hassle
Strugglin' with bags, like some pauper's vassal
Fighting with the seats -- like we're gonna wrassle
Little kids make it look easy -- to them it's facile.
Let's keep it movin'
Let's keep it movin'

And waiting areas
see it day and night
Say hello, say goodbye -- try not to fight
People with wanderlust -- they've gotta roam
Homebody's don't get -- they like it safe at home
If they fight there's a bloody nose

And that's how an axle gets the grease
Whether love is waning or on the increase
When you're getting along or calling the police
And you won't be the first
Or even the worst,
To woo her

And you can't build a house of gold
And pretend like it'll never get old
Gold bends real easy
It leaves your fingers feeling greasy

And that's how an axle gets the grease
Whether love is waning or on the increase
When you're getting along or calling the police
And I won't be the best
No, not even the best,
To woo you

You can search around if you ever want to see me
The last place you look -- that's where you'll find me
That's where you'll find me
I'll be here,
I'll be there
I'll see you first unless you see me first
I'll kiss you real good -- gotta quench that thirst
You'll feel my love muscle like it's about to burst
Don't know if lovin' you's a blessing or I'm cursed

And that's how an axle gets the grease
Whether love is waning or on the increase

You can love too little too late (repeat then fade)
Call it bad luck, or blame it on fate

I believe that you're gonna learn
The love you give
Gives back more in return
I believe that you're gonna learn
The love you give
Gives back more in return
I believe that you're gonna learn
The love you give
Gives back more in return [repeat 1x]

Lonely Part

"Lonely Part" #JSLAY

It's the awful moment when we both see the writing on the wall
We had a good summer but we won't last the Fall
It's in the tilt of your head, it's in your sad sighs
Just a question of which of us will be first to say our goodbyes

Just before a breakup, oh, that's the lonely part
We're finding out we're over -- after such a promising start
Missing you before you're gone, oh, that's the lonely part
Gotta find the strength to go on, oh, that's the lonely part

Or it's that time in between before finding someone new
Trying to keep it together though I'm missing you
Being alone all night for since I can't remember when
Where will I find the strength to begin again?

In between lovers, that's the lonely part
The weight on my shoulders, my weakened heart
Needing someone, but whom, oh, that's the lonely part
My dog's my only friend, oh, that's the lonely part

Meeting someone new, that's the lonely part
Finding out who I am with her, it's a tricky art
Who am I, who is she, who are we?
Fearing a repeat of past mistakes -- are we even meant to be?

Starting over again, that's the lonely part
Is it her or is it me that steers the shopping cart?
Discovering the new girl's not the old girl, oh, that's the lonely part
It'd be easier if we were still together, oh, that's the lonely part

Milky Way

2015 01 02 "Milky Way" #OW

The Milky Way is a galaxy.

The Milky Way looks like a glob of stars rotating like a giant misshapen wheel in space.

The Milky Way sounds like the music of the spheres.

The Milky Way tastes like nougat and caramel mixed with nuts in a thin covering of cheap chocolate.

The Milky Way feels like the void of space.

The Milky Way smells like star stuff.

Rhymes with Milky Way: A airway, archway, aweigh, B beltway, byway, BR breakway, bridleway, Broadway, D doorway, DR, driveway, E expressway, entryway, F fairway, footway, FR freeway, G Galloway, Galway, gangway, gateway, getaway, guideway, H halfway, hatchway, headway, highway, K cableway, causeway, cogway, cutaway, KL clearway, KR crossway, cruiseway, L leeway, M midway, Midway, motorway, N Norway, O overweigh, outway, outweigh, P passageway, pathway, R railway, roadway, runaway, runway, S seaway, cycle way, someway, subway, SK skidway, SL, slipway, SP speedway, spillway, ST stairway, steerageway, sternway, stowaway, STR straightaway, straightway, T takeaway, tideway, towaway, TH that-a-way, thereaway, THR throughway, TR tramway, U underway, under way, underweigh, W walkway, waterway, way, weigh, wellaway, wey

Come with me through the Milky Way
It's bigger and vaster than any old walkway
You can't see it all standing in your doorway.
We can't stop now -- we're only midway!

Thursday, January 01, 2015

Otters

"Otters" #JSLAY

I know a mammal
She moves in the water like a Harlem Globe Trotter
And she's just amazin'
Little feet flurryin' as she's scurryin'
If she were a fire she'd be blazin'
If she were a dog with a bone she'd be buryin'
And now I guess I know
She's the same whether I stay or go

Farmers, be good to your otters
Otters will love oh so true
Otters become holters who turn out more otters
So lutrinae, be good to your otters too

Oh, you see that skin?
It's covered with fur
To muss it would be a sin
Send you to a place full of sulfur
So leave it now before you begin

Farmers, be good to your otters
Otters will love oh so true
Otters become holters who turn out more otters
So lutrinae, be good to your otters too

Pups, they can take it
Go on, pull their tail, you won't break it
Pups will be gone
For they carry on
And pups become full-grown in about two years
And when they're gone, oh, boy, you'll shed tears

On behalf of all mankind
Don't have to be cruel to be kind
We are the caretakers and the keepers of their world

So farmers, be good to your otters
Otters will love oh so true
Otters become holters who turn out more otters
So lutrinae, be good to your otters too [x3]

Split Pea Madness

"Split Pea Madness" #JSLAY

And I don't know exactly the recipe but
Says here in the book of soups that it involves peas
Split I guess if you please
One hand on a pot another on a pan
Yet a third doing something -- something grand
We'll have a taste test to know it's all right
We'll be having split pea soup tonight!

Maybe I'll have just one bowl
(Yeah, right!) For this soup I'd sell my soul
Or, maybe
I'll share a bowl wit' you, baby

We share our madness
Split pea madness!

Two pea halves will be split tonight [4x]

"Mm, mm good" is the truth 'cause
When I have split peas I feel so high
Now we're full, filled-up eaters

And we sing when we feel this good
Ate more soup than I thought I could
I'd love some more, oh, yes, I would!

Maybe I'll be on top
Love you crazy till you say, "Stop"
Get out of our clothes before our buttons pop
Oh, righty
You look good out of your nighty
We'll stay in bed, why take a car
I'll love you right here, here where we are

[2x]
We share our madness
Split pea madness!
(Four bowls made it all good tonight)

We ate 'cause we just
Love to eat the split pea soup
Ate all the food now can't leave the coup
Poop it out in the morning then try to regroup
We have soup love in common so here I'll stay
Tomorrow we'll make love together all day!

Beret

2015 01 01 "Beret" #OW

A beret is a type of hat.

A beret looks like a little circle on top of the head.

A beret may make a soft sound if it hits the ground, but as it is made of cloth, any sound is muffled at best.

A beret smells like cloth, but may absorb the smells of the wearers shampoo or conditioner.

A beret tastes like cloth.

A beret is soft to the touch.

Rhymes with beret: A array, B beray, bewray, D disarray, F foray, G green beret, H hiphip-hooray, hooray, hurray, M Monterey, moray, MW moiré, P purée, R ray, re, S soirée, ST sting ray, X x-ray

Should you wear a beret?
You may choose from an array.
It helps to hide your hair when it's in disarray.
But it's not a good place to store a sting ray.