Monday, November 24, 2014

Hey Stephen

My original, as yet unfulfilled, writing project was to respond to The Music of Nashville.  However, after I saw Taylor Swift singing "Welcome to New York" on the David Letterman Show, I decided it would be easier to go through her discography, responding to her songs.

I started writing #TaylorSpliffed on November 16, 2014.  By November 23, 2014, I had worked my way through Taylor Swift's first 2 studio albums.  I figured it would take me another week to finish the other 3, but I wanted to get some of these out before the Thanksgiving break.  [UPDATE: I completed WRITING the exercises on December 7, 2014.]

I decided to take a break myself so I could post the poems I think worked to the #TaylorSpliffed page I created.  I've got some other poems that maybe didn't turn out so well.  I decided that rather than be all negative, saying things like, "This song is a failure, and that song is a failure, or Oops! I failed again," that I would go another way.

If I think a poem turns out well, I'll add it to the #TaylorSpliffed page.  Otherwise, I'll post it as just a single blog entry to die a lonely death like a beautiful, beautiful precious flower that never received the love it needed to thrive or even survive.

Wow!   What a beautiful metaphor!   I call it the "Beautiful-Beautiful-Precious-Flower-That-Died Metaphor."  I invented it so I get to name it.  I originally gave it a much longer name but shortened it to save space on the Internet.

Anyway, here's

"Hey Stephen"

Hey, there, Stephen,
I hear that you be leavin'
No more basic cable, no,
You're on the late-night network show!

Hey, Stephen,
I know that you're married
And I'm not a gay guy
But somethin' about you
Makes me say, "My-my-my!"

Now, that Taylor Swift,
She might have wrote a song about you
She even moved to New York
Just to get close to you
But I got something
That she'll never have
(Look it up Tay-Tay -- it's called penis envy!)

Now just cuz I got a penis
Don't mean I don't know what a pen is
I saw that episode of Friends
I know what a friend is
We could be friends
You could be my wingman
We could be bros
Bros before hos man!

'Cause I can't help it if you look like a Greek god,
Can't help it if Tay-Tay wants to kiss you in the rain.
So come feel this magic I've been feeling since before I met you.
(I haven't met you.)
Can't help it if there's no one else.
Mmm, I can't help myself.

They're lighting up the spot lights.
You're perfect for me, let's have a beer tonight!
I'm waiting alone now, so come on and come out and pull me near to drink ourselves stupid!